As I was mulling over the day before sleep, I remembered the phrase about 'words flying by' and I chuckled: do I actually get up and change it, because it is going to scream 'contrary to my intent'? Really bad choice of words on my part; I only meant 'easy flow'. Comments should never be made in a hurry, or with side distractions. Sorry about that.

Hi Graham. You are right. The rigidity of the form makes writing a Ghazal in English a bit like doing a crossword or playing scrabble. It is easier in Urdu for example due to the structure of that language. There are 8 qualifying criteria in this poem. My challenge in writing these is to produce something with these 8 factors that is in some way poetic. If I have done this I am happy. thanks for looking. Win

Hi Graham - took on board your comments on my High Tide poem and have changed a few things, so thanks! x

Hello Graham - thanks for nice comments on Knightmoves. xx

Hi Graham. Thanks for your welcome and for read my bio. Am looking forward to reading and sharing work on here. All the best, Dianna.

Hi Graham Thanks for reading and your encouraging comment.

Glad to know that the old blood is still pumpin round... yeah I liked her eyes too!!


Many thanks

Many thanks for your comments - I hate it when I repeat a word, and obviously had a blind spot on survives. I'll definitely re-work it. Thanks for highlighting it

Thank you Graham for your kind comments on "Vacancy". I have enjoyed reading through your poems also.

Thanks Graham x

Thanks for your kind comments on A Pinch of Salt. I do appreciate it, as you don't comment that often. I like your latest esp

I float through space

with vaporous eyes as empty as

the cupboard drawers.

xx

Hi Graham. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment on 'Coming Home Without You'. As you mention, things seem to be so different with or without the kids, or in my case kid there. the driven by your eyes bit is an attempt to capture the energy of my daughter whist the screwing into the chair is the motion of a settling cat (Of which I have 2) Horses for courses I suppose as you will see from other comments. :-) Win

Hi Graham. Belated thanks as always for commenting on 'Descent Into The Maelstrom' You may well be right although I struggled to write this one to this length let alone longer. Who knows, a spark may come from somewhere and I will change it/add to it if poss. Win

Thank you, and likewise my friend.

Hi Graham - thanks for commenting on Family. Sorry for un-nerving you! I wonder why that happened?? Maybe the poem is more chant-like than prayer-like. Maybe your dad was a hippo! Lots of love annFxx

Hi Graham, thanks for looking at ';-P'. You are right I can't fool you ;-). Win

Hi Graham,
Yeah i have kinda. Had a mad episode this week with my depression and making hasty decisions, removing myself from WOL being one of them.

Thank you Graham for your comment. : )

Thanks Graham, hopefully not too offended by the MK reference, it just kind of fit the bill!

Thank you for your comment :) It's always nice to meet fellow poets!

Looking back on it, I see where you are coming from. Do you mean the rhyming couplets and the fast-paced style of the poem reads like 'rap'? Or the context?

Hi Graham,
Thank you for your generous comments on my non-sensical samples and for your warm welcome to WOL. In the light of your own beautifully crafted work I scarcely feel worthy.

Hey Graham, thanks for your positive comment on 'angry mouth' x

Hi Graham - "cherubim" - thanks for the v kind comments. B

Hi Graham... thanks for commenting on the secret lives of woods. I was trying to write about someone trying to descover these sectets and struggling to make contact with this other world so felt I needed to show this at the end, hence the human element. If only we could see/hear all that is happening under our nose? or perhaps we would be overwhelmed. Win x

Graham - (for what it's worth) -I dont think you need to feel bad about your take on Alison's poem Anniversary - firstly because she said so, but also because all of us put our work out there on display & others can interpret how they like. Did you ever see The Singing Detective? I liked one turn of phrase in there that "writers will eat their own children" - that whatever happens, it's all grist to the mill, good or bad, it's all too valuable to let it slip away. all the best. B

Thanks for your comment on 'In the afternoon' -glad you enjoyed it.
Cx

Lovely man! If I took offense easily I wouldn't publish anything! It's nice to know there's more than one possible interpretation - I kind of liked that.

Ha ha...
The answer would be 'It is enough...
Open your eyes, your mind, your heart, and realise' ; )

Merci Graham
x

Graham, thanks for your comments on St Leonards's. I see you've had some feedback on the word "sombre" - I managed to get away with it in mine! (I think Bill Wordsworth used it a few times over the years, as well ... )

Thank you - the picture in my poem is actually my sister in law. And my guy didn't get a choice about leaving - the brain tumour made it for him!

Thanks for you thoughts on "Spurs". Having posted last "Fair and Square" about the excuses Man U cough up when they lose I can scarcely blame the pitch/ref/dazzling sun etc! Best of luck to Portsmouth, I say - after all, we've got half their squad!

Hi Graham - you are very welcome -and in any event, you did the hard bit when you wrote the poem :) Best wishes, Dave

Thank you for the comments on Insurance. I must confess that the "dedicated water damage claim handler" and the "dedicated loss adjuster" are total quotes from some tv add for an insurance company! I thought they were such marvellous phrases! I expect the man from the Pru or somewhere will be round shortly to arrest me for plagiarism! Must go and write the sequel entitled "Go to work on an egg!"

Hello Graham

It was a crumpled brown paper bag originally but it didn't scan.

and I didn't want to 'balls it up'

Thanks again

Augusta xx

Hi Graham, thanks for reading and commenting, it's hugely appreciated. I've had a long dark teatime of the soul with the old writing recently.

thank you for the comment on the not so freudian slip song, tis one of my most popular and my most difficult to perform properly. Love your use of language and imagery.

Hi Graham,
Thanks for taking the time to comment on my latest. Much appreciated ;-)

Good Evening Graham

Thank you so much for reading and I'm so pleased you approve.

Once again for your 'Charming comments.

Augusta xx

Hi Graham - Thanks for commenting on Goddess. I guess I was hoping for a violent and dramatic contrast rather than coarse, but I am sure you have a point. I know you have a very sensitive ear for language - I remember you didn't like my microscope in another poem. Do appreciate you taking the time to think about it. xx

Hi Graham, thanks a lot for your comment. I like the atmosphere of La Tuilliere.

Thank you very much, Graham.
very much appreciated. x

Hi Graham ... I was there with you in 'La Tuilliere' ... Great imagery my friend, thanks for sharing.

Cordially

Anthony

Thank you
Annex

Good morning Graham-ta lots for taking time to read and comment on my poem'home' your observation is very helpful.thanks-Stefan.

Hiya Graham.Thanks for commenting on my recent Elvis poem. it's all about how I look to myself first thing in the morning, and I totally get that you didn't get it if you get what I mean lol!Thanks for reading and commenting
Rachel
xxx

As you and Cynthia were nagging me, ;-) I have added two more verses to my windy poem. Now it is even more windy!!

Hi Graham , thanks for commenting on 'Grey Magic' - hopefully we all acquire some as we grow older ;)

Thanks for commenting on my windy poem! lots of love AF x

Thank you for your kind comment Graham. I have to say I was just scanning over your poems and it's all really good. I will have to take a look at the poems on your blogspot soon!
Thanks again x

Hi Again - Graham... you have swayed it for me by the fact that if I use lip - locked all the hyphenatedpairs beginwith 'l'. Couldn't see this earlier for some reason? thanks Win.

Hi Graham, Thanks for your comments on 'Ghazal' recently. More detailed comment left on the blog entry if you wish to view it. Thanks Win x

Hi Graham,
Thanks for your generous comments, I am flattered you feel my spoutings are worthwhile your time and i appreciate all your comments and suggestions, I did have a look at some of DH Lawrence stuff but didn't really enjoy it. Perhaps i'll try again sometime, i don't know.
'One more for the cellar' is a strange one for me, it came in one full stream without any real hesitation, which given the subject matter, i don't know if it is a good thing or a bad one!
Thanks again. x

Just noted your comment re: D. H. Lawrence on Kathryn's personal. Would you believe, I was reviewing his work only last night for a couple of hours, wanting to remind myself of his masterly hand at sexual writing - verbose maybe, but grand. Of the several works on my shelf, I was rereading excerpts from Woman In Love. Maybe Banksy's 'darkly' lines caused me to reconsider some of Lawrence's potent descriptions.

Let's be real: 'There is nothing new under the sun', just new minds in their turn of exploration.

Hi Graham - thanks for commenting on Coramondel. Re the repetition. I recently found in an old notebook a poem by Sir Walter Raleigh that I'd copied out when I was about 18. It was a clever little thing where you can read it up and down and across. And I love the repetition in that poem. Of course I can't get it to do that here!Her face*Her tongue*Her wit * So fair*So sweet*So sharp * First bent*Then drew*Then hit * Mine eye*Mine ear* My heart. * Her face*So fair*FIrst bent*Mine eye* Her tongue*So sweet*Then drew*Mine ear.*Her wit*So sharp*Then hit*My heart.

Hi,
Thanks for replying! It wasn't convoluted either lol. I think i was aiming more for a rhetorical question. I'm still finding my feet with poetry, i've only been writing since mid January, I'll learn!!! Thanks Graham, i do appreciate feedback from yourself and everyone else. x

Hi Graham,
Thanks for commenting on ' leave me unseen'. What was it about that particular question that you didn't like? I'm curious lol x

Hi Graham Thanks for the kind comment. I've just had a look at some of yours which look very interesting. I'll get back to them when I have the time to read them more thoroughly.

Mustela putorius furo

: )

jx

Hi Graham
Your comment on Baby Bobbies is truly appreciated. I know I say it as shouldn't, but I love 'nobobby at all'. Probably just a flash in the pan. I am waiting to see if Cynthia (the Headmistress) tells me off for mis-spelling nobody.
I wrote this after seeing a policeman/child in Huddersfield last week
Again, many thanks
Steve

Hi There Graham, Thankyou for taking the time to read my piece 'On Seeing a Boy's Face' and for your generous comments. This piece was removed by accident and is now back again. It may or may not have had the audio when you last visited. Win x

sorry Graham, you have me stumped!

Graham, pleased to meet you here. Some of my work now on my profile. have a look! /A

Thank you for visiting my blog and for your kind comment.

I really like your poem, 'Samples'. I, too, am a people watcher.

Hi Graham, thank you for commenting on Villtur Augu. I believe that Angels are multifaceted and sometimes form/live in covens thus confusing the connotations which usually come with the term..Sometimes I have to learn how to let someone be a long way away from me, not easy when I want to reel them back in. thanks again, Debz x

Thanks Graham, I've re-instated my personal profile but I haven't really ever gone away!
Cx

Hi Graham,

Thanks for the welcome, The jury is deliberating as I write regarding whether I ought to stay or bugger off!

In my defence I am not a total misery, but a partial one. I have an appointment to smile on the 6th February already booked I'll have you know!! I'm also having a surgical procedure to implant seratonin in my coccyx, not because there is any medical benefit, but in order to amuse my GP who is into 'alternative therapies'. He's due out of prison in March and then it is all systems go!!!

;-)

Thanks for your welcome, Graham!
Anneliese

Many thanks Graham x

Thank you Gram.

....and having just re-read Tate Modern, I think the Last-Line title actually belongs to you! :)
Rachel
x

Thanks Graham for your comments, d'you know, I think this site is one of the most affirming things in my life at the moment.... May I pick your brains re freelancing at some juncture....or have I just destroyed site etiquette singlehandedly?
Cheers again,
Rachel
x

Thanks for your welcoming message!

Thanks for your comment Graham. The response has astonished me, I was just messing around. WOLOP? Heavens.There must be something better. Yours for a start

thanks Graham....happy Christmas did you notice what I did with each line ...if not take another look. sian X

Hi Graham - sorry about that was just in the process of setting up the account on my mailbox. more@royaldaylight.co.uk should be working now! Cheers for the comments, I'm trying to take it all on board! Thom

Aww. thanks so much for the comment you left on Dad, it's autobiographical honestly! I have another one about his inquest, also humorous! I read Dad at an open mic a couple of months ago and the reviewer was mortified to admit she'd laughed at such a sad subject! My dad would have laughed himself stupid!
Cheers,
Rachel
x

thanks graham....very perceptive to spot the word "last" ....on the ball as always Sian X

Hi Graham, thank you for your comments on my glove poem - it's nice to be just a bit irritating! I guess the repetition was because I wanted to get across the insistance of the mute glove. It can't speak but you can't somehow get an insignificant little object like an abandoned glove out of your mind, so the glove keeps nagging you to think about its story some more. Maybe I also see repetition as a sort of mantra for passion, as in a poem on my profile page called Take Me. If you find repetition irritating you won't like that, or maybe it will grow on you ;-)

Hi Graham, thanks for the welcome on my Starlight profile.

Thank you for popping-in and leaving a message Graham. You were my first. I'm glad you enjoyed 'God'.


Joseph

Hi Graham

thanks for taking the time to read and make comment on my work

steve x

Hi Gram, ty for your comments. It all helps! : )

thankyou once agin Graham. yes this is a new style and I am really pleased after my hand wringing that I posted it...I actually thought it wasn't much good. Always nice to have your support. Sian X

Hi graham thanks again for your support and comments. You just won't let me be will you....oh well i guess i am destined to write poetry. Sian X

Hi Graham,
Thanks for the post and encouragement. Departure - is a very emotive read. 11 11 is excellent too.

Graham, thanks for your welcome and your comments on Don't Look Away. LIke you, I don't really see myself as a perfomance poet, even though I quite like showing off in public, as long as I have a script in front of me. I've looked at your Poems for Rosie and really admire them for their craftsmanship and closely observed detail, particularly of the natural world. (I wanted to leave some comments on them, but found it too technically difficult. I guess others have had the same problem). Have you published any of them in magazines? Greg

Thankyou for the comments.

Good Evening Graham,
Thank you so much for your remarks and I am so sorry that my lack of punctuation caused you a problem.I promise I will puctuate my next piece, or will I, I've arrived at a full stop.

Many thanks once again.
Augusta x

Many thanks for your kind comment Graham. I was a bit nervous about posting cos I haven't done anything for a while - you made me feel much better.

Thanks for your comment on 'gaggle me' Graham. I read your profile and like you I am not a performance poet, and write when the idea takes me.
Have commented on your last blog which I found very moving.

I'm at a loss to explain that poem too. I guess some poetry is just about juxtaposition of words and images and not designed to be understood. You would have to love or hate that style just as you would the type of poem that hands it to you on a plate... Sorry for poking my nose in - was just interested by Marianne's comment.

i didn't take what you said as negative criticism at all. i guess some people just are trying to conquer their own hurt on a grand scale to make sense of things. this is probably the most personal explanation i have given and anybody who doesnt say they are doing that is, in my opinion (and i can deseve a backlash), is a liar. if it is cryptic, then it is a puzzle to me too, and thats why i have to write it down.
thanks for the comment.

Thank you for you kind comment, it's nice discovering fellow poets.

Hi Graham,
thank you for reading and posting your kind comments on my last piece Of The Earth, wow, I'm very flattered by the comparisons,Debzx

Hi Graham
I have my stiff uper lip at the ready, and the incontinence pads

Hi Graham, thankyou for your comment on my poem 'A gentile river.'
I placed a further comment below the poem if you'd like to see my response. I appreciate your input.

Janet.x

Hi Graham. By coincidence (or perhaps subliminally) Lonfellow is one of my favourite poets. Tell me not in mournful numbers... is one of the few bits of poetry I carry ouround in my head from heart and never ceases to inspire me. Spooky?

Hi Graham...
I did listen to Bob Dylan's 'Positively 4th Street' and read the lyrics : )
Thank you for sharing that with me...
I enjoyed listening to it and getting lost in the meaning of his words...

My poem was actually just a nicer way of perhaps expressing many of the same things ; )

Graham, re: "Rustle ...', you are absolutely right about the weakness of the separation of lines 1 and 4. I do know it, and haven't yet resolved it. Usually I wouldn't post until I was completely satisfied. Thanks. I will rework it.

Hi Graham, thank you for reading and posting your recent comment on Shoormal, fleeting was what it was : ) deb x

Hi - It's a little belated but thanks so much for your comments on 'that cough' it's great to see how differently it's been interpreted and the impact it has. Especially considering this wasn't the style/type of poetry you usually comment on.
Thanks
Cat x

Graham, I knew exactly what you were doing. I recognized 'baiting' immediately, and smiled to myself: Someone is following the discussions quite closely! The main clue was 'attack indiscriminately' without 'suggestions for improvements'. It's not your usual style. My answer was, though, absolutely honest. My goodness, I have CHAMPIONS!

Graham, what a terrific compliment you have given me. I truly appreciate it. I think hard-hitting criticism is high praise.
The poem about the Computer was pure nonsense, not intellectual at all, just plain silly - dancing around formal structure on one hand and using cartoon dialogue on the other.

Thank you all for the comments on 'Hog'. I thought I would explain a little about it, I hope this is of interest to you! Firstly, as for almost all that I write this was completed swiftly, in no more than 10 minutes or so. The only revision made was swapping two of the lines in the second stanza. I like to write like this it feels natural, I am not a ponderer over a sheet of paper I believe in intuitive and impulsive writing. I think this is where the best work comes from. This means of course that it is usually flawed, as this poem undoubtedly is! The idea for the poem was simply that Dylan Thomas had stolen more than his share from the 'genius gene pool' - I should explain that I am of Wesh parentage although I was not born there - leaving none for anyone else, and me in particular! The first verse is just a superficial portrait of Thomas, his appearance, his drinking and smoking (stubs here is a reference to his fingers, not a cigarette stub) - and the delivery of his poetry when he read it. If you listen to recordings his delivery is very theatrical and sounds very much of the time that it was done; dated to modern ears.

The second stanza (understandably criticised by some of you) is part reference to the location of the Boat House his residence in Laugharne and partly my own memories of summers spent as a boy In Wales. My relationship with Wales is one of love and awkwardness. Stake a claim to Welshness in England is often met by ridicule, do the same in Wales in an English accent and the result can be the same! I like to think that this somehow comes across in the second verse. The alliteration is obvious and probably overused I can see why come may not like it.

In the second stanza I was also trying to use words for their sound purely, I like the para-rhyme of somnambulant and ambient, drunkenness and genius.

Finally I did write 'hog' whilst drinking which may explain the good and the bad in it also.

I hope you liked my explanation.

Best Wishes.

John

Graham, thanks very much for the comments and constructive criticism on my poem 'Hog'. I do take the point. The piece was written swiftly as most of my stuff is and probably also 'under the influence'. I will consider a rewrite or at least an edit.

Thanks again.

John

Hello Graham,
thank you for your kind comments on Aurora : ))
Deb

Very raw and real tough emotions

I have to say I disagree Graham! I studied writing poetry within a workshop environment, where we would discuss and critique each other's work. I think inviting other people's opinions can be very beneficial to your work and because it is so personal, I think you sometimes need people who are impartial to shed light on your strengths and weakeness and thus open your work up to audience wider than just yourself!
I would only re-edit my work according to the views of other's, if I absolutely agreed with them and in this case I think my poem has improved as a result of everyone's kind words of encouragement.
Thank you Graham for your comment. I value your opinion, as I do everybody's else, but this is an occasion when I do not agree!

Thanks for your explanation Graham. Sometimes it's good to point people in the right direction even though it may go against the grain - they get so much more out of it. Your poetry is surprisinly uncommented on considering its quality. Has the Angler and the Astronomer been published somewhere? It sounds so familiar.

Thanks : )

Thank You Graham for your comments on 'The One' it very much does reflect my recent feelings and frustrations x

you're very welcome . sian x