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Write Out Loud Profile: http://writeoutloud.net/poets/revtwosheds
Write Out Loud Blog: http://writeoutloud.net/blogs/revtwosheds
I write about the dullness that I percieve surrounds me... I also write for recitation 'neath the voice activated CCTV's drone, and for all those useless faceless cold callers trying to sell me useless shite over the telephone... and also other stuff & things, primarily for my own amusement and also for some other ongoing rhyme projects, [some of which are finally on here now as of 23/02/10]. A lot of my own stuff is dull, over-long and tediously interrelated. Many operate in some way like some kind of extruded gloop squeezed like toothpaste onto the surface tension of all primordial microbial fossil records and / or rotting detritous upon the petrified rootstock of various evolutionary trees.
In regards to R2$ so called poetry, I / we gave up trying to collate it all a long time ago, and much now sits dormant in crates and in old hard drives.
I also write stuff that I may on occasion read out / perform etc at some of those poetry type things from time to time... In fact most of my writing is written and designed to read out loud [primarily for the porpoises of my inner self thruough checking how it 'reads'/'flows' etc]. This 'read-it-out loud' attitude towards my own work is concommitant with my post-scribble/pre-joined up out-put of early infancy.
I also dislike to use spell check unless I actually see a gaff myself...
I have no specific favourite living poets, although if I were to recommend some I would most certainly include [in no specific order] the works of Harold Rizla, Helen Thomas, A.Quirk, Musa Okwonga, Bernadette Cremin to name but a few.
I also collect spoken word Reel to Reels, 78's, LP's, 45's and flexi-discs, of all persuasions and have a large collection of these.
I also have a particular soft-spot for Pam Ayres, although no longer a sexual way. My liking for Pam Ayres primarily revolves around her really 'with it' hairstyles, and off course the fact that although many may consider her 'early' work to be trite and somewhat banal, at least she had the balls to read it out on telly in the 70's, thereby inspiring every kid on the planet to start writing poetry in a wholly different way to how she was doing it at the time.
I think Ivor Cutler was also very good too, in particular "Pickle Your Knees", and for those who may not have heard it, the orchestral version of "the Lilac Fields of Pontefract" by Sir John Betjemin is also a bit of a corker... However I would tend draw the line at the "Hippy and the Skinhead" by Jason King and also the American poets unless they have been dubbed into English by the BBC.
Thusly through this, I consider that both Pam's and Ivor's contribution's to the UK poetry scene are widely overlooked. Ronnie Corbett's TV many contributions in bringing poetry to a wider audience is also a mitigating factor in the early development of my writing, but I did recieve treatment for it at an early stage, and I'm happy to say that after wearing it for a few weeks, pretty everything seemed to sort itself out quite nicely apart from the dipthongs.
As a consequence of this, I am currently in consultation with a local 'bronze foundry' with a view to casting a series of appropriate shrines to be placed in the centre of all roundabouts (subject to the approval of specific Arse Council funding).
I tend write all day most days - on computer... notebooks, paper, toilet walls... as I have nothing better to do since I won the lottery in 2006...
I also have a keen interest in the peripheries of contemptuary experimental poetry. For example at the moment I am still working with the re-nouned apochcryphal poet Fox Ewe-Crane regarding the creation of a workable system to make pure punctuative poetry (ie. poetry without the use of numbers, vowels or consonants) more widely available. This is still in process, but moving very slowly due to his more than random propensity to fluctuate between quasared~anarchosyndicalist list writing and crypto-communist cymbalisms en-croute via Hubble. However, we may still be performing some of this live at Aldeburgh Poetry Festival as soon as we can work out how correctly annunciate a few more of the more unusual punctuation marks more commonly in use today. Further details of this can be found on the rear of this profile page.
I sometimes collaborate with other poets [although this may not be visible] and I like to paint and play music in order to take break from writing from time to time. Although most of this music at present [and musicians that I may collaborate with] still revolves around some form of poetry.
I find it easy to write and absorb / understand my own work but often difficult to read and understand and absorb the work of others... and I very much enjoy being a member of this site and I hope to continue to remain here for the foreseable future. The simple way in which the links on this site operate suit me, and it also enable me to revisit other poets works easily.
I would like extend my best wishes to all concerned for making Write Out Loud an interesting and vibrant place for me to be [terms and conditions apply].
Kindest regards
Rev.Two-Sheds
Disclaimer:
Sometimes 'The Lady' (and / or others) may type things up for R2$. as this helps him sum up more totals of his oral dictation. And although Rev is still pretty quick with his "double digit chimp stabs", he also says - "I love being a dictator... there's nothing sexier than 90 w.p.m... really gets the juices going..."
R2$ also likes to play with words.
e.g.
'Facebook' has become 'Faecesbook',
"Twitter' ~ Twatter,
'Write Out Loud' ~ 'W.O.L MART'
...and so on
All of Rev.Two-Sheds produkts and/or services here are designed for personal development & spiritual enhancement purposes only.
All products and any information provided therein are in no way intended to replace or act as appropriate substitutes for other forms of rhyming/non-rhyming poetry, pamphlettes and/or servicing that may currently on be special offer elsewhere from registered poetry/haiku professionals.
R2$ is not qualified nor engaged in rendering poetic services or advice.
If you require such services, you are encouraged to consult a qualified professional poetry provider or practitioner
Other info:
R2$ - Stuff & Things Inc.®™ - offers new exciting ranges of strange and fascinating personal hygeine problems starting at just $19.95. His latest summer collection of XL terrorist Y-fruntz in quilted terelene, are now only $29.95 per gross in a exciting range of variety packs [while cocks last]. His popular pamphlettes including 'How to Enjoy Full Paranoia For Just $10 a Day', 'Teach Your Kids to Talk Like John Wayne', and 'The Anglo-Arabic Air Marshall's Phrase Book' are all still available - check your local trouser press for decals...
[dictated - not read]
*
http://www.myspace.com/revtwoshedsmuzak etc
http://www.reverbnation.com/revtwosheds
boxes of paper on shelving etcetera
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
reverbnation has 35 etc R2$ noise things inc ' Meat 'n' Voting Song' [all in the best possible taste ~ over 18's only ] & 'Generic Tom Waits Tribute Act ' ~ are among the more recently uploaded things... I'll dig out the word files in due course... innit
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I've just been listening to your audio file here. Very enjoyable to listen to.
I find some of your usage of words difficult to read and my attention span for lengthy poems is often minimal but the listening is great. :-)
Janet.x
Thanks from another oldie who's travelling again. I only tend to look here about once a week so if you want to chat drop me an email.
Hello Rev Trem & WaaWaa, feed your head, Grace slick is probably the colloidal float of lipsticks/lipbalm on what is left in the chalice after mass communion (like mass immunisation). However, White Rabbits and Brer Rabbits populate my unconscious with their brandishing of timepieces, gloves and homilies. & thank you for listening to my audio piece. It's not part of the installation -- the installation centres on a bog body tea party and a Heimlich manoeuvre tea dance.
Listening to your audio sample drift through the air like a painting with each word like a brushstroke of desire. Must admit the thing I most enjoy is reading it out; I manage to write about 6 a month so always have a choice. Was at the Oxfam reading last with "Young British Poets" thinking there's nothing wrong with older British Poets. If there's one thing I would change about myself is that sometimes I'm just too damm earnest.
Hi there Rev...
Thanks for looking at this recent bizzare one...
@ Fingers surfing breasts.
§ Makes me feel I’m made of waves,
# seeping into sand
Surfing here refers to a movement of the finger rather than trawling the internet. In fact the idea is that if you look at each line, how can the feelings, movement and words in that line be summed up by a symbol. (Its a bit obscure I grant you)... Hope this helps. win
Hi Rev
Thanks for your comments on my voice column in March's Ezine - always gratifying to know that people are actually reading!
I agree with many of your comments about a brief introduction - but for me the key word in an introduction is definitely 'brief'. I think too much explanation and you can see your audience start to glaze over, and if the poem needs an essay before it so that they can understand it - re-write the poem.
The most important point I'm trying to make about performance is - control. Anything goes - as long as you meant it to happen, can make it happen again, know why it happened etc - the more professional you are about your performance - the more control you have.
I really like a lot of your poems, though I rarely comment on anybody's work these days - I always read yours. Love Panning for Vibes.
Thanks again
Cx
H, you're more than welcome for the mention lol. I am glad you enjoyed it, was hoping you wouldn't be disappointed after the build up for it lol.
Many thanks for your praise! x x
Done!! I'm fine with how it reads, I only removed it because i wanted to update my profile and forgot it wouldn't be on the blog lol. Hope you enjoy x
Greetings, Pastor, delighted to have brought a tear to your ~ with my +. I was attempting an emoticonga or unidentity parade; an emollient emorse coda or slick of faces you could train a dog to jump through. Hooplacenta!
Hi Rev,
Just wanted to let you know that i have removed 'dead Wasp' from my samples, just to update really. If you like i can re-blog it. No worries if not lol x
Mate, your comment on my "In my opinion you are***Deleted, Offensive and Pointless***" poem has made my day.
Thank you very much, it means a lot coming from a poet I really quite like.
Hi, just wanted to thank you for commenting on my poem and taking the time to read them x
hi rev. thanks for the comment. are you really a rev? what sort ecclesiastical advice to you dispense?
i've enjoyed reading your work, particularly your pontifical exploding irreverence.
Hi Rev, thanks for the feedback on my poem 'Time at your disposal.'
Yes it was very helpful. I don't know if you looked at it again but i added a comment of my own in the comments box below the poem.
Much appreciated. :-)
Janet.x
Your Very Rev
Many thanks for your comments re my Uncle Fester and the raw deal he got from history.
Thu 25th Feb 2010 08:29
His words - your comments:
can you get me some of whatever you've been smoking?
or was it just the old danish blue before bed?
I'll tell you a strange one - a guy told me a joke in a dream & I waited for the punch line - when it came it was hilarious & made perfect sense (even when awake) - but it was MY dream, so how come I didn't know the punch line?
OI! revvers! re your 'shyness'at my praising the inspiration you give-questioning wether its a good or bad thing to be like yon self-for me ROCK ON! and I,ll gladly follow-but there will be a charge!not neccessarily monetarily-woo-oo! ltr innit(see started already!)he-he-Stefan.
Hi Rev
The protocol is to reply under the poet's profile i.e. just click on the profile pic next to their comment on your poem
Cheers rev for comments on King/Country-yes indeed,the horrors a lot of us are spared-thanks for sparing me from soldiers realities-!!!! ta for all your very inspirational work on here-muchuss grassyarse-Stef.
If what you say is true, the end of western civilisation is nearer than I thought ...
Your recent eruption on to the blogs is most welcome, Rev. My neck of the woods harbours plenty of real ale but not any particularly good pubs. Hence I am drinking Badger's Golden Glory at home while typing this
Wo! Rev! Thanks for the award! (Life is Crap) Took months of hard work to write that one! xx
hey rev, just popping by. haven't read a thing of yours today; I was away reading loads other people and now that I am getting ready to log off for a while-maybe- I thought "Ah, say hello to the Rev" so hello Rev. you got more than most you got (wait for it.....wait for it..) TwO Sheds! Heeeheee
Thanks for the comment ReV. Just spent a happy half hour listening to your stuff. Keep it coming.
Glad you liked the poem Spirits New Haven.
Hope you are having a good Christmas.
Have a great New year!
All my best
Chris
Hey R2S welcome to WOL, thanks for comment, am gonna checkout your stuff, cheers Jeff
Thanks for comment Rev... pleased to have sent you wallowing in nostalgia. I like the sound of your stuff.
Graham
Thanks for your comment on What's It All About. Your poetry is very 'alternative' but I see that you champion freedom and equality also. Would like to be able to read the lryics that go to your songs - my brain works a little slow to take it all in and I like to read along....Your style is different to anything else on here but it is good to challenge. Hasta luego x
p.s. I couldn't see any link to sound for Panning for Vibes which is a shame cos Paul usually knows his onions.
pps - just found that it is attached to your profile. It sounds good but I would like to hear it with the words attached also. Why don't you blog it again and this time attach the soundfile to the blog?
Hi Rev,
Thanks for your comments on Trauma Dreams......it's a difficult poem, too difficult for many given the subject matter.
Regards,
Chris
Hi Rev
Thanks for your comments on Last Train.. erm i think.
To see the latest poems with audio - click on 'Blogs' then 'Podcast' and that gives you a list.
I've been listening and loving 'Panning for vibes' - it's a cracker!
Dear Two-Sheds, so glad you and the Lady enjoyed Dance On. I suppose I lace a lot of my poems with musical references. Have investigated your website and will be back for a longer listen: I need to familiarise and acclimatise myself a bit more. Would you object if I posted Deadbeat Beatniks up on my Facebook site, assuming it was possible to do so, with all due credit and praise? I've also got to ask this ... is Two-Sheds a reference to an old Monty Python joke?
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Kathryn Wakefield
Fri 12th Mar 2010 19:40
Here I am then, you utter flouncing pile of monkey hairballs. Here's your message, like you asked. Now I suppose you want me to tell you that your poetry is "interesting" and "enjoyable". Guess again, stupid-head.
Love and cuddles, Kath xxx