Black woman you’ve come undone

Carrying the weight of the world on your weary shoulders

The pied piper has come to collect your last remnants of sanity in exchange for sleepless nights 

Constant thoughts flood your mind’s eye

Strong, Independent, Sassy, Abrasive

Adjectives assigned against your will 

If only they knew you were

soft, needy, earnest, kind

In a hopeless state ...

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if I stare at the roof long enough
would i let it's ink
roll down over me ? 

my shape, pliant and waiting and 
rutting
tilting toward the certainty 
the cooing touch and strain
spreading stygian weight 
pressing down, down, and do...wn

coy and waiting with glistening teeth
brushing, roiling voice 
weight like a purring cinderblock
hands, too many to be real 
too deft to be human 
...

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it's 12 degrees
and the marrow cools:

we catch  --
breaths hitched
 to a cataclysmic gait
a crooked pace:
all-damned 
while you wait

god's sticky magazines 
pages pregnant 
with guilt
regret
the ilk of resplendent idleness
of abandonment
in this blind-eye of a city, turned 
to rot, mitotic
never-ending 
a car crash of ashamed sex
but it's just too good 
to be any other way .

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You lay in bed at night with thoughts that bring you down

You thought that you were strong, but you were wrong

You relieve the moment when you lost it and went into the dark

You lay there awake wondering if you could have done anything different

Could you have made her stay?

Could you have shown her that you lost your way?

You lay awake because you haven't forgiven yourself

Be...

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The Pride

Huzzah!

This old and gummy English lion

Feeding on the tears of little girls.

Finding its bravery in packs

Of like-minded scavengers

Who prowl and growl

And claim a foul

For every perceived slight

In history.

Huzzah! Hurrah!

We won a contest

Prejudiced by racist taunts

And sieg-Heil accusations

By the Nazis

Towards the reconciled.

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Kneel before the rich black mud

the minty plants smell when bruised

she sees the double backed burden

spouting eggs into the brown tea water

shame gathers with the loaches at the bottom

as the dragonfly larvae pounce

and eat those who have just been born

the shadows hold no magic to her yet

Hands fly, she captures a creature

pulling its leg to keep it safe

pulling its...

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Bitter pangs

Leak puddling

To the floor

The GP

Noxiously

Unconcerned

By women

Crying 'ouch'

For sick notes

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Then the photos appear

I never see them coming

That need for revelation

Emotionally so numbing

Image of ex-husband

Faces of cheeky kids

This woman has lived

My life hit the skids

Tales come with the pics

Stories of her family life

Domestic ups and downs

How she fared as a wife

All I feel is hot shame

Angry at what I missed

Wife, kids, annive...

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I have been here before,

and yet it is a strange repetition:

this not going out;

this hording of food and handwash.

And then there are some familiar foes.

No use insisting on social distancing,

I am already caught betwixt twin sisters:

Vigilance and Anxiety.

Spanish Flu? Or Swine Flu?

Please, God, not Ebola?

No, none of the above.

This pandemic provision,

c...

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For many years I walked in shame

With my head bowed down not looking anyone in the eyes

Shame for not being good enough

Shame for not being wanted nor loved

I sat in darkness wondering if I would ever be able to find light

Sat there wondering, if I would ever be worthy or enough

Then a voice whispered in my ear, " I am here."

The voice got louder and yelled, " I am here."

T...

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Shoo, 
go away.

I only want young, thin, pretty girls 
to look my way.

I don't care if they have anything 
intelligent to say.

I just want them to ooh and awe 
at my game. 

Of course I have no shame,
my past is to blame.

Yes, this dance could drive  
the thinker insane.

So, leave with your dignity,
while I toss back another one, 
and twirl my ring. 

# # #

https://yo...

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I heard about life where we were equal
I dream about that time every day
They say people are all the same
so what depends on their names.

Every night I go to bed
I lie down and close my eyes
I see people and all that hate
I bow my head in shame at them

I remember that all the time
You were lying by my side
You held my hand and kissed my lips
Tears are sliding down my cheeks.

You ...

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SHAME

In a warehouse, in a cage a child sits

In bits

Clinging to her only comfort a blanket of foil

And whilst we all recoil

at the horror on display

Theresa May declares although it’s not ok

 She will wait and chat in her special friend’s ear....  only when he is here  

Whilst umbilical cords of family ties

Are severed bleeding out amid cries ..............................

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Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
Is empty
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
"Over medicated"
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no f...

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Your words are hollow, 
your words I swallow, 
time and time again 
even after 
action did not follow, 

I still swallowed 
and in return 
every piece I gave, 
my soul, my heart, 
my disturbing brain 

and you just left me 
standing in the rain 
carrying my pain 
so dismayed I caved 
into shame. 

The rage a blunt stain 
upon the page.

©JMCole 

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It was surprising that after work, on Thursday,

she wanted to meet and share her bed with a man, again.

Maybe men, even, she thought, suddenly indecisive and guilty,

but for society, men, peers, their judgment, their pursed lips and nods of disapproval.

Now that she was almost home, her fireplace and Scotch seemed dearer, as usual;

the icy blanket of her acceptance of undesired celi...

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Express yourself, they said.
Somehow I knew, but went ahead.
And as they recoiled, in shock
At the horrors under my bed

The fear and shame upon their faces
I've added to my box of haunted places
I join them, as me they mock
and hide my words when in their spaces

20161229

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Some thoughts on body shaming of Olympic athletes - the most ridiculous nonsense I have heard!

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Shame

Been working hard loving

working hard chances way too many, many

you’re foolish not to let me go

you helped me walk when i was off

you told me this was the last time

i’m sure its nice to change the bloody razors

maybe turn back the clocks 

those where the days 

I know i fucked it up

I know i was the clown, banana peel

you come around, you hear the sounds

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Breasts are something to be ashamed of, something to hide,
Yet something that a kid will suck on just to stay alive!
Something everyone once depended on once in their life
Yet something evil, something I must hide
A man's nipples are useless and yet just fine
The woman's are lewd tho to a hungry baby divine

To wear one layer of clothing!
A sin God forbid despite the sweltering heat
The s...

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Glass sides tip away the hope of perception and cameras flash away any hint of reflection
at this hub of metal minds and stiff bodies.

This soft grey raven digs for existence among the steel nest of discardment.
Every sip a taste of us, our residue his everything.

Around me, gold fingered bird-watchers with their fogged up binoculors,
tasting their uncessary glory.
Molten pride down th...

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are we recording?

yes?

with that the withered concierge told me

“we don’t want your type around here

too white”

regardless I made love to a cultural icon

away from the conference table

out of sight of the knowing grins

I made her smile

and as  ziggy played for time with no

reason nor rhyme

there and then I decided to hide this story in a

cavernous...

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Shame - the greatest shambles; a sham

sex and guilt, beauty and modesty; molest

pitted in the stomach like acid,

spat swallowed pity, feeding starvation, an unquenchable famish, unsensibly sore

malnourished habits die hard, and lonely, resentfully

twisting and turning and diving, deprived

Lies for eyes, for ears and the nose; twitch

flies on the flesh of ...

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