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The Girl They Called "Robot"

Crawl into my waiting arms

And tell me that it’s cold here.

The anger held within my eyes

Will never sear you.

When I’m lost in my own soul

How will you know to save me?

Or will you cry again

While telling me I’m broken?

 

"Broken,

        gone,

            beyond repair."

 

Reaching out was never easy.

Never necessary.

Never an option.

And so it sha...

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autismdepressionbullyingalonelonelymentalhealth

alone

I have this indescribable need to be heard,

like I’ve never whispered a single word over the course of my life,

like I’ve never uttered an incoherent syllable under the light of the dying sun,

like I’ve never looked into the eyes of another and truly felt seen. 

 

Am I alone? 

 

Am I floating here, lost in the waves of a turbulent sea,

waiting for a lifeboat that will never...

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lonlinessalonedepressionmentalhealthbipolarautism

Out Of Body

Aim your anger at me;

Pull the trigger,

And watch me bleed.

I can take a few more bullets

Rotting there inside of me.

Set me free.

Oh, set me free.

Grit my teeth,

And watch them bleed.

One by one 

They fall away

Beneath the clouds,

Beneath the gray,

Beneath the promise of better days.

I sing beneath the sky so dark

With weathered bones

With shattered...

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autismdepressionmentalhealthalonelonelypeoplepleasing

Never Alone

My mind is the only place I feel understood.

It’s a direct reflection of the confusion,

The hatred,

The insanity,

And yet it is home to me.

It beckons me back when I wander too far.

It calls my name when I’m lost in the dark.

Yet even with a thousand blessings,

I find myself crawling back towards the Hell

That dwells within me.

The chasm therein is deeper still

Tha...

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🌷(1)

lonelyalonedepressioninsightdarkgothecho

Why be common when I can be different?

In the hole of the common, fear runs deep,
where the voice of the many stirs us from sleep.
Dress the same, speak without spark,
act like the crowd, it's mediocrity's mark.

Alienated souls, proud in their space,
yet some feel the pull and yearn to escape.
Clarity’s a pain, like islands alone,
different in values, they stand out, unknown.

Children are innocent, while the old face disdai...

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commonfearmealonedifferentvaluesholepainlikesamespacepartyaway

Option 3

Am I ready for the things I acquire ? 

Used to mediocre things 

Not having enough money to buy what I need 

My goal has always been the finer things 

Wearing what I want, living where I want 

It seems small but those are big to me 

I don’t live above my means 

Watched people go down that road 

It’s not a pretty scene 

I’m scared about what I would do when I acquire what ...

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familyIndependentMindsetaloneChangelife

To be loved or not to be

Love is an action, not just words

 

I tend to hear people say they “love me” 

 But they hardly ever call

 

They say they “love me” 

But they never want to meet up 

 

They say they “love me” 

But aren’t there for me

 

I see the action of avoidance

Not love.

 

I see them make effort for someone else

But not for me.

 

Is this a glitch?

 

Why am...

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loveddesiredunlovedtouchingemotionaldeepalone

Self Inflicted

Looking out from deep inside

this fortress here wherein I hide.

Formed brick by brick in rounds of pain,

some circumstantial, others made

by hand selecting from the first -

fine crafted moldings of the worst.

 

With clays of pity, doubt and fear,

mix in the water, make it clear

so all around will go away.

Form isolation day by day

til self-inflicted world of on...

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🌷(1)

isolationalonewithdrawnliving alone

Dislocated

Location unknown

No flesh or meat on the bone

Bereft of all comforting thought

This isn't what I was taught

 

I once knew a place

Where I knew every face

Now cold and dark

No warmth and no spark

 

I travel around in the void

Wondering round like a lost boy

And although I am able

Fully trained yet maimed and unstable

 

A ghostly belonging

Of betrayal ...

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🌷(4)

sadalonealonenesslostdislocated

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