I Am a Naughty Ditty

I am a naughty ditty

I joined the saucy crowd

Drove moderators round the bend

For speaking up too loud

To pay for my transgressions

They'll dig me deep (a grave)

At midnight they will Archive me

Because I can't behave

Eth? I can't help it......I'm tearing up.....

Don't fret pet.....You can still dig it up.....

It w...

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LMS Is Taking Off

LMS is taking off

On it's Rollercoaster

Equipped with Bar and Maid to boot

Equipped not yet with Toaster

(For hot toasties in cold weather ..)

Leader at the driver's wheel

Heading for the next

Offbeat poet visitor

Invited there by text

You think it's all a fantasy?

A figment in my mind?

Then why have sixteen WOLers then

J...

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London Smog and New Research

London's air pollution

Increases risk depression

Suicide, bad mental health

Come London, learn a lesson

New research has shown

What was the situation many years ago with London's pea-soup smog?

I don't know. Just asking question.

Don Matthews December 2019

I have included a link for those interested:

http...

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Abou Ben Adhem for Today's Poets

Poetry's evolving

New upgrades all the rage

Poets want to open mic

Upgrades on the stage

A group of well-known poets

Reworked Abou Ben Adhem

They open miked their hard-earned work

Which some called utter mayhem

Don Matthews July 2019

https://youtu.be/NrdKe5sDVI4

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Plink, Plink, Plink

(First written for the Like-Minders Society's Rollercoaster Toilet Stop, known for it's high quality visiting poets) 

I sit upon my porcelain

Throne and ponder, think

I know what you are thinking

What rhymes with think, yep, sink

I think I must change washer

In leaking tap in sink

That's next to me (it's dripping)

Plink, plink, plink

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10,000 Miles to your Blank Screen

Intellectual interaction I'm seeking

Because I'm 10,000 miles away

Connected by only a blank screen

(While you're in the dark I'm in day)

My aid (rhyme) can carry whatever

Message I choose it to take

10,000 miles up to your blank screen

10,000 miles under the lake

Don Matthews October 2019

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Three Christmas Poems From Downunder

(Thalia, Lucy, Ethel , Bert and Janet say Happy Christmas. Sadly Miss Bethel. Bert's kindy teacher, is unable to be with us. She passed away when Bert was a teenager. He has fond memories of her)

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas

When I got his text

That Santa would visit me

'Round planet (co...

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I've Just Got a Shock About Santa

Hark I hear friend Santa

Shuffling down my chim

Sor-ry to disappoint you Don

Your he is not a him

What?.....

You also say since getting here

From my date of birth

Santa's just a fantasy?

Dreamt up by those on earth?

Sorry Don.....

Now what's this thing he's not a him?

(Or him's not he, vice versa)

Thi...

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Governed by a Two-Edged Knife

(There is an urgent need to raise awareness of mental health issues in the community. No longer can they be swept under the carpet out of sight and out of mind. I would normally present this first in the Mental Health Unit of the Like-Minders Society Theme Park. Something said post it on the WOL site now)

I'm governed by a two-edged knife

A dem...

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I Was Wrong

(We have just experienced a record heatwave week. It reached 49 at one outback town and bitumen on the road began to melt. Where I live reached 46. I'm now typing this in the comfort of a cool change which came in overnight)

I told some other poets

Our fires were interstate

Just opened up my paper

To local devestate

Fires were burning madly

Not...

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It seems I have taken to creating characters who want to give their opinions on various things. Ethel and Bert seem attracted to WOLers poetry lately,  giving well-thought-out comments (despite Bert not graduating past kindy) Thalia, my Muse of Mirth, gives me the humour I need to get through life. Lucy L (Head of LMS Publicity) is the the Like-Minders Society voice and front-of-house. Miss Bethel...

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Supertramp. Ahead of Their Time (1974)

(First presented in the Like-Minders Society Theme Park. 

Rollercoaster Stop 'Music Lounge')

Supertramp were

Ahead of their time

Making, creating

100 dollar wine

Coordination brilliant

Second to none

Harmony vocals

All perfectly done

Supertramp talent

Brilliant, under-rated

Hypnotic, spine-tingling

Not...

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Meeting Turns to Crap

(true story in my town)

The staffers were all gathered

Round each other, seating

When suddenly they heard above

A sound, a sudden creaking

Very soon they all began

To look up, and start mumbling

When the creaking sound above them

Turned to quite loud rumbling

Suddenly the ceiling

Above them gave away

And out from pipe ab...

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Ethel and Bert

(Ethel and Bert, pensioners, live just outside the Like-Minders Society Theme Park.  Bert sees members riding their rollercoaster around the Park and having fun.  He wants to join but suffers vertigo.  He asks Ethel if he can get anti-rollercoaster sickness pills from Tesco.  She replies, dunno luv, worth a try...)

Ethel and Bert are two characters

I've created t...

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40, 42, 41, 44

The numbers in this title

Refer to Centigrade

Temperatures about to hit

My home in Adelaide

Four days of bloody stinking heat

Records will be set

But I'll be in Hillbillys

Cool, with Thale (you've met)

(You haven't met Thalia my Muse of Mirth?

She's graced your screen on many occasions)

Together we will think up

Fun to grace yo...

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A Perfect Fit

Rhyme you say so much to me

You crack me up with mirth

You help me look inside myself

And see what is of worth

At times you do frustrate me

Can't make your lines go rhyme

I guess I can't expect them to

Go balance every time

I'll bend you and do what I need

To make you say my bit

You are my friend rhyme , don't despair

We are a perfec...

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Write-Off

Was driving in the country

Concentrating (sort of)

Suddenly Big Red appeared

Car? Turned out a write-off

Big Reds they own the country

You're just a tourist there

Concentrate, respect them

Cos they your car don't care

They have the right of way there

It's not the CBD

You've all been warned about this

Ignore, you'll damage see

Do...

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The Letter Writer

I thought the art of letter

Writing had expired

That all communication now

Was transferred down a wire

Last night I got a pleasant shock

When sitting with a female

A pen-and-paper letter was

Replacement for an email

We've lost the art of so much past

To far great a degree

I pen-and-paper poem drafts

This is an art. To me

...

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Crowder

I tend to be a crowder

Crowding peoples ears

My mind's too overactive

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

Mind, don't be a crowder

Don't wear your welcome out

Slow down your thoughts, restrict, withhold

Still need my friends about

OK, create, but know your place

Can't always centre stage

There's other players in this game

Who also need a wage

...

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But I Like Helium Balloons

Helium balloon you look lovely

Red, yellow, blue, pink, in the sky

Released by excited/happy children

Who squeal with delight as you fly

What's this? We hear there is a council

Who want to ban us (stay deflated)

They say when we come down from high up

We pollute waterways, and are all hated

We give so much joy to the kiddies

O...

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Side-glancing in an Argentinian Cafe

I like just watching people

Interact, talking, smile

Creates a pleasant feeling

Inside me for a while

The Argentinian cafe man

Animates with sparkling eyes

Catches me side-glancing

Smiles back (to my surprise)

Argentinian music

Bounces round the room

(Gosh this cappuccino's nice)

Watching smiles grow, bloom

...

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The Newsagent

Why are there sox in the newsagent ?

Hanging all paired with their mate

When right next door to them's a men's shop

This really does make me irate

Why are women's bags in the newsagent

Both leather and vinyl to be had

When a women's bag shop's in the complex

Gosh this does make me real mad

I notice the agent stocks papers

(Which seem to ca...

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Publisher Wanted

I'm looking for a publisher

A rhymy-loving type

Who wants to increase readership

(I also offer skype)

There are no skyping rhymers

(Who offer two for one)

I'll skype for you both day or night

Buy me (before I'm done)

Although my rhyme's oft silly-like

There's serious undertones

A flippant/serious combo

That's waiting to get known

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Doomy Gloomy

Nothing doomy gloomy

'Bout this little one

Just a poet playing

Round with rhymy fun

Done with doomy gloomy

Given it the boot

Sun now shining round me

No more gloom-pollute

Shit! Gloom's back to haunt me

Covered up the sun

This ain't allowed to happen

Poem's not finished, done......

Don Matthews July 2019

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Does No-one Know Where Rose Is ?

Does no-one know where Rose is ?

I really miss her so

(Santa's on my rooftop)

(Rudolph's snuffling snow)

Your verse is deteriorating Don.....

We care about the state of things

Pollution, mess and such

Wasting of resources

(I miss her very much)

I miss her carefree attitude

Her greeting with 'hey dude'

Her spun...

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Brains to Practice On

Adelaide has made a world breakthrough

In printing the first 3D brain

Before surgeons do operations

On patients, their replicas can train

Scans they are taken of real brains

Ones that have tumours within

Computer then 3D's a model

For surgeons to scalpel within

If something goes wrong in the process

The surgeon, a tumour can't find

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The Lady of the GPS

(True story)

A truckie based in Melbourne town

(A huge B-double grade)

Set GPS then headed off

Bound for Adelaide

The Lady of the GPS

(Obey at any cost)

Take this street, that street, trust me do

You're bound to not get lost

But Lady? streets are narrowing

Don't worry trust me do

You've told me where you want to go

Take...

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Fluffer Round With Flowery Words

I try to write on WOL

With rhythm, rhyme and wit

Guess what? I am quite happy

To just succeed a bit

I'm not a Poet Laureate

For if I was, I could

Not bring to you my simple self

That's in me I see good

Perhaps I am way off the mark

A Laureate is, to me

A fluffer round with flowery words

Which don't pertain to he

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What is The Like-Minders Society ?

The following is a report by the New-Age Poetry Review.

LMS is an experimental project by Australian offbeat poet Don Matthews. Mr Matthews is renowned for pushing boundaries and experimenting in strangeness.

The project involves a group of poets (currently 15) who meet in a Theme Park and ride a rollercoaster to various stops of poetical ...

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Learning Haiku – Important Point

5-7-5 is haiku, yes?

Yep, how doody doo

So if it's not in haiku form?

Don't title 'Haiku 2'

(Or 3,or 4, or 5....)

My Haiku Number 4 by Billy

This is haiku 4

Comes between my 3 and 5

Fingers helped me count

Very good Billy.  You're improving in leaps and bounds.

Thankyou Mister Don.  I'm practising to be...

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