2 x Girls = Don’t
Reminiscing on my lustful youth
Oh! all the times that I had
I thought myself very clever
I had these two girlfriends on the go
I would brag to my mates
I just to see the looks on their faces
Dad got me out of a few close shaves
My although he didn’t approve
He questioned my morals
Treating women like a business
Dad called it ‘balancing books’
Our front door being ‘goods in’
Said I should show more respect
What did he know he’s well past it
Another saying of his was annoying
‘You’ll get your fingers burnt’, ‘nah!’ says I

Of course, Dad was right and came the day
My bridges were burnt to the ground
I looked at my diary, shit! double booked
What story would keep them sweet?
I felt like ‘Pinocchio’, my nose grew
All the lies I was scheming
Dad walked in giving me grief
He looked like Jimminy Cricket, damn conscience
Being less wise then, I went with my plan
It was timed to perfection, or was it
Sarah and I arrived at the restaurant
A candle lit dinner, rom… Bloody Hell!
There sat at table was the double booking
They looked at each other, then at me
I smiled back sheepishly, dumb struck
In my mind I shouted ‘Jiminy Cricket’ my lights went out

Waking up next day I had learnt a painful lesson,
‘Grass isn’t greener on the other side’
I looked in the mirror and decided grass was
I pondered, red with a black eye and split lip
Jiminy walked in with that all knowing smug look
Oh! I hated it when he was right
Two weeks later I was back in the saddle with Joanne,
I decided to be more respectful
We had been dating for about six months
I booked us a table at this posh restaurant
We were going for a drink first; pop the question later
I had the perfect night was all set
Got the drinks in, got pulled from my seat
This guy said,’ that’s my girlfriend?”
The moral of the tail is that in the affairs of the heart
Don’t learn you’re two times table
© Phil Golding Dec 2007