almost empty

the breeze closed the door
and opened this evenings
spaces
an empty house
so unwelcome alive
with clicks
and creaks
the traces and freaks of sounds
that stab at hope
that longing you may return
the nagging doubt of the missing,
gnaws on the edge of a conscious man
slipping
as the chair supports the slumping frame
just there ,in peripheral vision
I thought I caught a glimpse of her
But shadows are playful things, cruel
I’m sure they don’t mean it.

Oddly, a comfort scarce
In the corner of this room-
Drawn blinds.
I chose my shadow carefully
Missing you
The whole lonely world is mine
Its purpose vacuum only
Leaves me tongue tied
Talking to myself again
For empty space I tend

I try to do what you wanted me to
That ‘time’ thing you lend me,
for I am yours to wait
Funny,
It steals, yet your epitaph heals only temporary,
as once hollow holes soon fill.

The carriage clock is almost black now
its faded, pitted brass echoes
Blades of grass, dew chill, it's all so very wild
-I’m sorry about the flower borders love
the painted beds
and potted plants you like
your favourite colour was,
the crisp of cotton white,
brushed skin we loved on summer nights
in that garden
Remember the rain? (smiles)
Naked smiles those gorgeous times
on tip toes
I always thought that curious to end.
Still, silence calls on yet another evening.
stumbling I found the hall
and paused
clutched photograph in dusty frame
alone
but always yours

Amazing, Pete.

This has captured those lonely moments brilliantly.

I have been through this not too long ago (as you probably know) and this hits home .... Although I get the feeling that this person's partner has actually died (rather than run off with another sausage provider).

The hope that the shadows and noises generate is so accurate. I think you must have been through something similar to know this.

Unlike me ..... You have a very clever technique of writing about love without making it soppy.

I love this and would love to see/hear you perform it.

Keep them coming.

Darren.

PS. Sorry I couldn't offer any suggestions with this. I think it is great as it is.

I forgot to mention .... I also think the title is very apt (and very optimistic).

once again thanks Darren. Glad you saw that in the title that was the idea, a slight glimmer

hey Darren
your love poem re the leaving wife was NOT sloppy!

Yeah .... The old "F*** you" poem .....That wasn't a sloppy one ..... That was to the guy that she f****d behind my back. To be fair, it wasn't sloppy beause my feelings towards him are bitterness and not a lot else. I literally wrote that in 10 minutes just before I attended WOL at The Howcroft. It made me laugh so helped someway towards the healing process.

For the record ..... She left me, but now I'm splitting hairs. (Not that I have any to split .... so I am grateful for the opportunity to split any).

This is why your poem "almost empty" really hit a note. (Not because I am bald (although my head is almost empty ... in more ways than one), but because I was left alone by her). I have been through that experience very recently, and thankfully I am am "almost full" now.

The other one .... "Deep Down" about how the relationship was falling apart was written about 12 months ago ..... about 7 months before we actually split .... When I could see the relationship slipping away and felt helpless to stop it. It is a bit soppy really .... All talk of soulful kisses and "eyes" (again).

Anyhow .... enough about me ..... We should be reviewing your poem.

As I said before, I really like it. I keep coming back for another read and I like it more each time.

Good stuff in my humble opinion.

Which version do you prefer? Look on my Blog.