I really like this poem Cayn, it is very sad - the only thing I'd say is watch your spelling (you call him a she and a he - obviously this could be part of the theme but should he not be one or the other?)

Sorry honey, just spotted 'the thought enetered the head' doesn't sound right, I appreciate you are trying to disguise his gender but could you perhaps use an ambigous name i.e. Alex also we may feel more for the character if we have a name? Also watch your tenses he should own a penis not 'owned' before he has the op.
Sorry honey hope you don't think I'm being mean, I just think this is a really good poem and it would be ashame for the little things to spoil it.
Magi
xxx

it's a very good poem sweet, I look forward to hearing you perform it.
xxxx

In response to Sophie's comments...yes I am ace and yes I love Shelley in fact I sometimes think his penance for being such a soppy romantic is to live out his Karma trapped in my body, note I am in love with the world and love beautiful things especially men - no I'm not saying Shelley was a homosexual - though I think like me intellectually he wasn't bpthered about gender and fell in love with everyone especially his fellow poets and artists, hey ho that's another story.
Normally I wouldn't be pinnicky about tense but I think it is important for this poem as the fact the character has a penis is massively important, the fact he 'owned' a penis implies he no longer does - why then is he going for the op to have the chop?
Baby cakes Cayn, you know I love your poetry and it is only because I believe in the potential of this poem, which I really truly believe could be one of your best with a little tweeking.
all my love my homies.lol
xxxxx

Hi Sophie,
Thanks for your very kind response, my proper name is Margaret yuk and then I shortened it to Maggie and then when I started to get recognised for my writing I changed the spelling for a number of reasons, 1) Its now symmetrical Magi Lane, 2) 8 is my lucky number, 3) And yes more importantly in respect of the wise (wo) men who have previously been known as Magi's, and Sages.
I am very spiritual and I believe in cosmic ordering and in going by this name I am asking the universe to provide me with wisdom (and it appears to be working as each day I grow wiser and more philosophy)
4) In connection with Magic, I am a witch in the old fashioned sense of the word as I respect mother earth and her healing abilities, I am a spiritualist and partake in hands on healing and (crystal, candle and colour therapy which come originally from Wicca traditions)
xxxx

Cayn,
Nic has just pointed out that your whole poem is in past tense and your spelling mistake is simply a spacing mistake - so my corrections are bollocks mate - sorry!
xxxx

I like this ..... It comes as a humourous shock to see that the character owns a penis. I saw the title and thought this will be a good read for a bit of titilation .... In fact it was a good read for a whole host of other reasons.

I am very open minded indeed but reading this poem exposed (to myself at least) my pre-conceived prejudices that the page 3 model would be a "natural" woman and the fact I laughed goes to show that, perhaps, I am not as open minded as I would like to think. I am actually disappointed in myself for this.

Some of the confusion between "he" and "she" works well and highlights the mental dilemmas that trans genger people must face on a daily basis.

It is a shame that she ends up in a hospital for people with mental illnesses, although it is understandable. I must admit, I am not keen on the ending due to the fact that it seems to be a gratuitous poke at the trans gender population, making humour out of what essentially is a predicament that people (through no fault of their own) find themselves in). It feeds prejudice (in my humble opinion).

That aside, like I said it also challenges my own prejudices and I like it.

Thanks for sharing.