When Your Biscuit Falls Into Your Drink

It should never happen to anyone, let alone me
The day my biscuit dropped into my tea
I couldn't take it out and I had no access to a spoon
So I couldn't take it out, therefore it stayed marooned
At the bottom of my cup, destroying the taste
But I hated to see a cuppa go to waste
So I downed the drink all in one
And I wretched and I gipped until the taste was gone
Shortly the vile after-taste went away
But that experience really ruined my day
Now I've had a load of things happen in my life
And I've had my fair share of trouble and strife
But one of the worst things that ever happened to me
Was when my biscuit fell into my tea
I've being mugged and threatened and mentally abused
I've fallen in love with people only to end up being used
I've seen friends get buried and others locked up
But that doesn't even compare to the torment of dropping a biscuit in my cup
I've drank so much that my liver couldn't cope
I've been so ill that doctors gave up hope
But none of that's as bad as the time I threw up
After eating the remains of the biscuit in my cup
Now you may think that I'm taking this too far
And I know you will find this poem a little bit bazaar
But for me, death, betrayal and needless wars
All that stuff just seems to pause
Call it madness or insanity
But nothing else matters until that biscuit is out of my tea!

By Cayn White

Cayn

Spot on with this poem. Nothing quite as bad as loosing your Hobnobs in a cup tea!

Really enjoyed it, got to put kettle on now

cheers

Phil

Bonkers?!? Its downright surreal ha ha!
And as for it being performed, well you asked for this so you only have yourself to blame!
http://www.mylivespace.org.uk/index.php?module=photoalbum&PHPWS_Album_id=15&PHPWS_Photo_op=view&PHPWS_Photo_id=102
Comes complete with NHS poem and painfully long intro!
Cheers to both of you for the kind words!

Lol, cheers, I seem to be getting good at the performing lark, only took two years though mind!

Big Jammy Dodger Grin from me, Cayn -- totally dunking fab!

Ha ha, I thought you'd like it Moxy!

Hehe! I really enjoyed re-reading that poem and picking up on all the different stuff in it, like 'mugged' and 'marooned' that I originally read as 'macaroon'! :)

Hello my darling boy, once again you have proved you are a comedic genius! Ooh and the pic is very sexy Snookums.
xxxx

It has been ages since I have been referred to as genius, and longer since I've been referred to as sexy, but both in the same message!? Think you need to go to specsavers lol!
Seriously though, cheers to everyone for the kind words!

Baby my eyesight is so bad, when I had an appointment at specsavers I couldn't find it and when I asked for directions the woman said to me - you don't need an eye test I can tell you your eye sight is poo, yes you guessed it I was standing outside specsavers but my darling boy - the pic is a bit blurry so I had a very good look thinking it was my eyesight and no indeedy you are a handsome devil and a witty one and if you keep putting yourself down i'll put you over my knee!
Right enough of my sexual fantasies, I really must attempt to get out more.lol.xxx
Seriously Cayn, you are gorgeous and funny and I hope your lass appreciates you because you are unique and I mean that in a very good way.
much love to you my snookums.
xxxx

hurray he's learning.xx