Is it right to dye an animal pink, even with organic colouring?
What does that say about your poetry?

I suppose it depends on the shoes and handbag really, pink can be so yesterday.

Pink is obviously so yesterday-- for your dead salmon, anyway...
Lavvy en rose: I bidet you bonsoir.

Rimbaud did rather a good colour swatch to go with his poems. He did his room up in a shade called Green Fairy.

Bit like that washing up liquid -- how soon the world forgets its absinthe roots! Remember that next time you do the dishes... (dishawasher exempt)

Alabaster De Plume owns a pink pig.
It can get him trouble sometimes.
Sometimes he mindeth not
for a pink pig is the man thing we got
the irony being
pink bits are available in many
different lots

No, the previous posting is hereby disqualified by the Imposing Disqualification Factotum, AKA, me. Merely mentioning a bottom and calling it a pig is nothing more than a figure of speech.
A figure of speech is not a publicity stunt.
A figure of speech is capable of transforming a bottom into a publicity stunt, but the metamorphosis is still linguistic and not lingam.
The first human to speak may well have revealed their vocal dexterity (and its precision denotation, representation, demarcation and invocation) to their clan members by means of a publicity stunt -- thereby popularising spoken language.
However, bottoms, per se and any part of which, do not count as publicity stunts unless they are in an Edinburgh Fringe Show that demands their owners perform puppetry with 'em, a fact to which the show's title eludes.

Re the posting below, I am, of course, presuming vocalised speech preceeded written language. It is more difficult to create a publicity stunt for a written figure of speech due to it a)originating in a two dimensional space and then being promoted into a sealed, private and philisophically indeterminate human consciousness where it melds with all previous mental/intellectual input whose content is inviolably hermenuetic to all but that one reader and 2) a written publicity stunt is merely a description.
I thank you.

Of course, a figure of speech originates in the philosophical powder keg of the physiologically unfounded mind. Or does it originate in a shebang of neural pathways, being merely a function of brain and its illusory diaspora, consciousness?

And they are called 'figures of speech' not 'figures of inscription/writing.' Speech is normally spoken words, although it can refer to something written down to be delivered as a speech (as in parliamentary, best man's, after dinner, acceptance etc.). Or it can be part of a written piece denoting that the characters spoke certain words which are either paraphrased or quoted in full. Speeches originating from a written piece may never have been spoken prior to them being written down. Their indivudal lingusitic components will have been spoken, but not in the order in which the writer presents them -- unless it is an act of intentional or unintentional plagiarism.
Later I will post my thoughts on the colour 'pink.'

No I won't.

Now you've made me take a vow of silence, you rotten things.

I'm just trying to think which animal would be easier to dye.
Dying a pig pink would be silly as they're already pink, so maybe just washing it would be better? Then again having worked on a pig farm before, I think it would be difficult to wash a pig

You could muck around with pig DNA and probably come up with some quite startling colour variations. Or dye their foods with a pigment that gets into the skin and dyes them. Or make them trot through a narror tunnel with a dye-delivery system incorporated into the celing. Or just view pigs through tinted glasses or cellophane toffee wrappers.

The tinted glasses would be the best one.
As for other publicity stunts, I found that someone throwing a bottle at me at a gig worked pretty well for that night

Was there a message in it?

I mean, it hadn't sort of been hurled by a rogue/freak wave?
If not, you need to have a gig costume that incorporates a chickenwire shield/funnel.

There was a message shouted just as the bottle was thrown,
I think he was upset because I suggested on stage that people from Derby do very intimate things with sheep, but thats all I'm saying there!
So I guess I did deserve it!

Well, even so, there are ways of disagreeing other than chucking something. Was it an interesting bottle? Victorian? Limited edition Coke?

Unfortunatly it was a bottle of Stella, even worse is it was empty.
Sadly it wasn't even a collectors item, it's a good thing I didn't wear a Leeds United shirt or I wouldn't be typing here today! Luckilly for me I'm a life-long Derby County fan!

Were you in Derby when you suggested certain things about sheep? Or just unlucky to have an audience member from Derby when you were in, say, Prestatyn? Is that how you spell Prestatyn? Or is it Pressthatin?

So you'd timed your comment to coincide with the bloke's finishing his drink. That really is professional timing!

I was right slap bang in the middle of Derby when I said it, I had to introduce a band from Yorkshire and the words came stumbling out (took advantage of the free drinks for performers).
Strangley enough I've not been asked to compare since!

sorry about the extra ''s' on bloke -- must have come free with the other letters. I'm sneezing while typing.

Ah well -- plenty more places you can compere at. Their loss!

Or do you mean that word's got round and nobody's asked you from anywere else? Some strong grapevine if that is the case.

Not too sure about the pig problem, but as for juggling, putting up a shelf is a better way of keeping three or four things in the air at the same time!
And Moxy, I'm a lot more behaved at gigs these days, I think thats what puts people off me these days!

How about a mobile stye? Or a mobile mud puddle that can lock down once the pigs are in? Or an oak forest -- they like acorns. Take an oak tree with you -- plenty have fallen over in the recent gales -- load one on a trailer with a system of battery-operated hand-held fans propped along its length in a line adjacent to an open window at the gig and have an assistant rerady to switch them on to draw the pigs to the oak/acorns. Then if you've laced the acorns with animal sedatives or Horlicks then the problem's solved.

Does Mr Plume's pig have a name? Sometimes animals will stop and listen to simple commands if their name is called. Do you know any animal whisperers? Take one with you. I used to juggle plastic ducks.

Is the pig vicious? They can be soothed by reading Enid Blyton.

Pigs also enjoy crocheting. Take a pig-adapted crochet hook and some good, thick wool. They usually crochet mobile phone covers that sell well on Ebay.

Name the pig, defy the pig by naming him. Pamper the pig, put nail varnish on his trotters.

Tie a novelty item to his curly tail -- a nicely wrapped campanologist's bell tuned to A minor, or peg doll dressed in national costume or a potted plant.

Because I'm performing at an animal rights gig in Margate in September (Cheap advertsiment there) I have to admit that I'm more worried about the pig!
Then again saying that, have you thought of taking out poet insurance?

Right -- okay, have you taken any Defence Against Unpredictable Pigs courses? It's a bit like the Fight Club but it is overseen by animal kindness experts and animal psychologists and a bloke who finds everything funny.

How about pig-repellent boots? Not for you, Cayn -- you could just wear what you felt like except anything off a dead animal.

How about a vest of living worms? And a wig of tinted butter?

A suit that looks like a meadow? A pair of trousers gouged out of granite and on a kind of hovercraft base for ease of movement? A toga from geraniums?

A thick skull!?! Well I never!!
Sadly, I retired from been a human shield after been hit at the back of my head by a glass while watching the Damned in Bradford

Worms come in all types. The vest worm is specially bred to resemble cotton thread in a fine weave.

Who mentioned a thick skull? I think we may have been infiltrated by the Dreaded Thought Pig -- bit like Ted Hughes' Thought Fox. But a pig and a stinker.

If they want to laud you the worms are great cos they give everyone a very genuine experience. However, how about a tunic of marshmallow -- pink and white -- and jeans made of retired castanets. The ones decorated in thick paint with a view of a town square and a town hall populated by biscuit bats.

You have a tailor? I have a chandler.

Now we must leave the biscuit bats out of this one!

I'm off for my dinner now. I hope the costume query has been resolved to everyone's satisfaction. Likewise the pigs, the skulls, the bottles and the butter wigs, acorns, presentiments of mortality and divination by spilling the contents of an old hot water bottle and watching for patterns in the perished rubber bits. Goodnight.

Ha ha ha -- I managed to bring biscuits into it!
'night Cayn, King Paul.

but are bisucit bats bats that eat biscuits or cricket bats made from biscuits?
I can't sleep with things like that on my mind!

Glad thats cleared up!

It has crossed my mind, I have actually compered one gig since the bottle incident and that was at the Love Poetry/Hate Racism gig in Hebden Bridge in April, I should have know that as I organised the thing!