Hi creative kindred spirits. Since childhood I have been told that I have a way with words but icky inertia has meant that until now I have not focused on my poetic penchant. So...here I am wondering whether or not I have poetic potential. Please ponder poems penned by me and offer either encouragement and/or constructive criticism both of which I would warmly welcome.

Metaphor-less Love


I met a formerly unfamiliar friend who became a firm and much-loved friend in the end.

This happy happening happened when I met a 4.20 appointment at the Royal Albert Hall which although merely 5 minutes long preceded many an internet tete-a-tete which both of us does enthrall.

We met a formless friendship here in Cyberspace which despite it's abstract arena lacks neither substance or grace.

You met a forward woman whose chutzpah makes her bold but far from that cheekiness being unbecoming it is charming to behold.

And thus you and I met a foray to our friendship forming which we both warmly welcomed despite it appearing without warning.

We met a fortuitous time in our lives when we became soul sisters not destined to be each other's wives.

We met a fork in our relationship's road because only one of us is gay but to travel down the same road ad infinitum our friendship found a way.

Hallelujah that we met a formula for keeping our sisterhood strong because going our separate ways would have been regrettably wrong.

Though this poem contains many a “met a for” there are no metaphors here to be found because even we wordsmith women would struggle to find a metaphor for friendship so profound.

Yes you and I share a love which is real and which is rare and it is a metaphor-less love because it is beyond compare.

Hi Ruthie,

Can I be the first to jump in with some thoughts and suggestions? There's a poem in there somewhere but it's twisting my tongue trying to find it. Personally I find a lot of alliteration pretty tough going so have to ask, is it really needed?

I'd take each of your lines and cut them down into, say, 3 shorter lines, perhaps like this:

'a fortuitous time in our lives
to become soul sisters
not destined to be wives'

or something similar, I just did this quickly as an example. Cut out any waffle words, find the bare bones and make those standout words work harder.

But that's just my humble opinion and I suspect it reflects the way I write which is most likely not the way you write or want to write. Hopefully others will share a different opinion. Good luck. x

Hi Colin. Thanks for feedback. In my experience alliteration almost always allures, lol, but it isn't everybody's cup of tea which is why we poets each have different styles so as to appeal to the different tastes of our readers/listeners. In the case of this poem I believe that the alliteration takes second place to the met a for-metaphor wordplay which was my intention so I myself am pleased with it although as I said constructive criticism is warmly welcomed so please keep it coming...

Hello Ruthie, I tend to agree with Colin when he says ''find the bare bones and make those standout words work harder.''

It seems the heart of the poem is the fact that you and your friend maintained the relationship despite one of you being gay and the other, not. This, to me, should be the focus of a shortened, and tighter version of the poem. As a subject, it has considerable potential.

I do like the idea that, as the friendship is ''beyond compare'', it is therefore ''metaphor-less'' - that's an interesting and novel notion. Keep at it.