Concrete Prairie

Cowardly intimidators
Nervously gathered
False laughing.
Testosterone fuelled rituals
Of boyish manhood
Uniformed.
Hunter, hunted, eyes hooded, scan
Untamed hyena,
Or young man?

I think I understand Darren...It is different from your usual stuff and to be honest from a personal point of view, I prefer this style better. Leaving something for the reader to fill in themselves...excellent.

Sophie,
Thanks for your comment.
I was trying to do a very short piece describing how groups of youths gather and the comparisons you can draw to animals in the wild. Hyenas, sprung to mind.

When you watch groups of youths, the boys particularly behave in a very similar way .... setting a pecking order, mating rituals when the girls are about, showing off. Gathered in groups because they are too scared to be alone but at the same time being intimidating to outsiders when grouped together.

Always scanning the surroundings for the next danger .... ready to run or fight at the drop of a hat. Living on the edge with nervous laughter.

That was my idea really and I wanted to say it in as few lines as possibly but get it all in.

Once I'd found a structure for my first three lines (8 syllables, 5 syllables and 3 syllables) I tried to stick with that throughout, ending (predictably for me .... couldn't resist it) with a rhyme (although that was not initially intentional).

Darren T: Thanks again for your support. Any more feedback would be truly appreciated.