Here's a silly one but I thought I'd share it none-the-less.

Volcano

A dicky tummy is no fun,
When you have got the shits.
When the toilet bowl looks like a scene
From the German Berlin Blitz.

You had too many chillies,
Too many pints of beer.
Why the Hell when you were pissed
Was a kebab a good idea?

And now your belly’s griping,
That cold and awful pain.
Last night you spent a fortune
And it’s all flushed down the drain.

You rummage through the cupboards,
To find some remedy.
You find some Andrew’s Liver Salts
That expired in ninety three.

You try to drink some water,
But that just makes you piss.
You stand and aim as best you can,
But you always bloody miss.

Now piss is dripping off the wall,
But as you bend to clean it up,
You feel your arsehole twitching,
‘Though you try to close it up.

It burns, it swells it aches so cold,
You’re really in a flap.
There’s really no escaping it,
You need another crap.

How many chillies did you eat?
They’re coming out all day.
Hotter than they were at first,
And not a nice bouquet.

Your arse like a volcano,
Sulphur hot and red.
You wish you’d stuck with soda pop
And fish and chips instead.

So maybe if you’re lucky,
You’ll be done before sunset.
You might be able to relax
Without that cold and clammy sweat.

You shake your head, stagger to bed,
Walking like you’re lame.
You know deep down it’s all your fault,
And there’s no one else to blame.

Hi Darren

I like it.

I love this type of poem. It paints a wonderful sequential picture. Was this a record of recent events?

Good stuff

Phil

From experience, yes .... But thankfully not recent!