Ben Richards

Biography

poet/writer from Manchester "*****" 3 weeks, "Prodigiously talented" The Scotsman, "Definitely good for a laugh" British Theatre Guide, “Didactic, worthy, I rather enjoyed it” The Times Winner Short Cuts (2005); PMA Writer’s Award (2003); All England Play Award (1999)

Samples

The Otter © 2007 by Ben Richards The otter is a tasty beast, a truth that’s often missed Dining venues which use menus don’t choose otters for the list But otter’s got a lot to offer, both in terms of taste And budget, because not a lot of otter goes to waste The otter’s versatility’s remarkable for meats Shallotte and otter potage versus chocol-otter treats It’s good in puddin’, good in’ salad, excellent with cheese Ricotta otter trotter bites are guaranteed to please The otter is otterly glottally flavoursome Savour some otter and what a delight There’s not a hot pot got a jot on an otter The ottery jackpot rolls over tonight The otter’s a sophisticated starter for a guest Risotto’d otter snotters and they’re sure to be impressed At brunch ‘n’ luncheon, munchin’ on an otter: what a spree! A pot of clotted otter cream’s the perfect thing for tea The otter’s an exotic chap, a dish you cannot hurry You’ll spot a lot of otter smartly tarted up as curry Transform a warmer korma and you’re sure to spark up a gala A pot of hotter otter, et voila! It’s Tarka masala. The otter is otterly glottaly wonderous Thunderous otter has climbed every rung No despots got hot plots to topple the otter The otter-man empire expands on the tongue The otter is a portly sort and truly fills a hole The measly weasel is easily not enough by half a vole The badger’s had ya sad ya belly’s smaller than your eyes But the squatter otter’s not as much, he’s just the perfect size But the otter is endangered, so he comes in short supply The reason season’s fees on otters shot are very high The heavy levy evidently caused men to disarm For hunters now garrotte allotted otters on a farm The otter is otterly glottaly marvellous Carve the last otter and carry me home There’s not a rotter got a tot or spot to blot an otter For otter-dam is anywhere, Liverpool or Rome

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.