GingerKaiser

Biography

A man from the Netherlands With Autisme and ADHD I was homeless for a couple of years lost my job sank into depression. Slowly trying to get back on my feet and writing is helping me a lot.

JUDGE

Who am I to judge what's good. Who am I to judge a sin People growing without food. People living just to win. Who am I to judge another. Who am I to judge myself. People living in the gutter. People dying in good health. Who am I to judge whats weakness. Who am I to judge whats strength. People surviving sickness. People sinking into depth. Who am I to judge whats winning. Who am I to judge a loss. People will keep sinning. People will keep making fuss. I'll stop judging people. I'll stop judging what I see. Judging may be legal. But it will not defy me.

STRUGGLE OF MIND

Wrestle with the wicked. A fight of a restless head. Feels like getting sickened. Keeps you thinking about death. Why can't it be silenced? Why can't it be stopped? It feels like a tyrant. Until my head has popped. Please give me sleep at night. Please give me some rest. I cant see the end in sight. I'm getting overstressed. Please mind stop thinking. Shut down for a bit. Please let me stop sinking. Otherwise I'll end it.

MEANING

People finding treasure. Things we cannot see. Creating lots of pressure. To be things we can not be. Trying to find meaning. For others and your own. Forgetting time is fleeting. Time here has been blown. Stop trying to find purpose. Enjoy the time you're here. Stop being over nervous. Try living without fear. Meaning is what you make of it. Meaning has no life. Meaning is to enjoy a bit. Thats for what we strife.

THE CLIMB

Crying in the darkness. Making sure no one can see. Thinking it was weakness. That was controlling me. Saddness was making choices. Anger was making bliss. Listening to wrong voices. Dismissing Happiness. Finding my way through darkness. Searching for light to see. Remember its not weakness. When the dark is controlling me. I will still be fighting. For a brighter day. My mind will keep grinding. To find a better way. Defeating all the darkness. Making sure everyone can see. Start controlling weakness. So it stops controlling me.

LOST AND FOUND

Roaming the streets Realise you have nothing left. Sleeping without sheets. Life can't be judged for theft. Still it took everything from me My soul, my heart, my will. I gave my apology. Still making me pay the bill. I will make the pay. I will fight for it. They will not sway. They will make me commit. Finally a roof above me. A future to be seen. Being down on one knee. And finally being keen. fight another day. Strong to claim what's mine. How heavy it may weigh. I will try to shine. Life is worth living for. I have seemed to forget. Trying to open another door. Forgetting I was upset.

QUESTIONS

Why is life hard to understand? Why is life so hard to learn? Why is life hard to command? Why is life so hard to turn? Why is love hard to do? Why is love so easy to break? Why is love feeling blue? Why is love so easy to forsake? Why is anger easy? Why is anger so much pain? Why is anger sleazy? Why is anger so much bane? Why is sadness painfull? Why is sadness so much hurt? Why is sadness mournful? Why is sadness so much dirt? Why is questioning hard to do? Why is questioning so bad? Questioning how I grew! I question everything I had!

FLOWER

I just picked a flower It was beautiful as can be. I watched it for an hour. It smelled so intensely I admired her beauty. It was so sereen. I tought it was my duty. It was beauty I never seen. I realised it was crying. It seemed to have no root. I realised it was dying. It was so absolute. I had to release her. It gave her chance of life. I just made the transfer. It stabbed my heart with a knife. I made some bad choices. It was all for her. I was made voiceless. It was all a blur. I tried with good intentions. It broke her anyway. I had to much tensions. It had to go away. I hope she finds a carer. It must be better than me. I hope she finds one fairer. It is for what I plea.

DREAMER

Walking trough the woods. Air pure to touch. Breathing deeply. Appreciating so much. Starting to dream. About what can be. Enjoying life. Joyful things to see. Walking the path. I never seen before. Leading me elsewhere. Nothing to call for. But I keep dreaming. And letting me go astray. The dream is leading me. To find a better way. Keeping my hope up. And my legs keep going. Walking the path. My dream is showing. Beautiful leaves keep falling. Trees stand mighty tall. Mushrooms sprouting out of the ground. My dreams will know it all. Seeing the end of the road. Its getting close to me. Knowing the dream is over. When I pass the last tree. I can come back later. To see if my dream is still there. Enjoying new things. Start dreaming everywhere.

THE EYE

Walking trough wind and storm. Walking trough hail and rain. Searching trough my minds dorm. Searching to make me sane. Suddenly is hits me. Suddenly its calms. Fiercely it breaks me. Fiercely I hear Alarms. Marching in the open. Marching with no rain or cloud. Finding what I was hoping. Finding a Part that doesnt shout. Stumbeling into the eye. Stumbeling into some rest. Getting ready for a warcry. Getting ready for the test. The eye may be uplifting. The eye may be a lie. I need to keep on fighting. I need to give a try. Maybe there is an ending. Maybe there is a way. Hope will keep me fending. Hope will make me stay.

FAITH IN LOVE

With love we show, with might we grow, but still we do not trust. With dance we smile for a while, cause that is what we lust. With song and dance, I gave a chance, to love me for a day. With bleeding heart, we fell apart, we were led astray. With tears in eye, I have a cry, cause of aching of the soul. With hope I see, the light in me, to find another goal. With hands I pray, another day, to give me a heart to love. With dream I see, the love in me, showing me whats above. With notes in hand, I will command, mistakes that I have made. With hope I feel, that love is real, just have a little faith.

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