Jim Byrne the Bolton poet

Biography

I`m a stand up comedy poetry performer,

Samples

This lad in class, He put me down, Thingy Nolan was his name, His mother taught him, He was better, But really, We`re the same. Come to mine for tea today, You wont have food like ours at yours. Can i come another day, I think you`re crashing bore`s Laughed at me because my kex had holes, I felt my confidence drain, I want to thump you on the nose, Your such a naffin pain. My dad`s a banker, Yours a trucker, We have money too, Listen thingy,You little twonk, I`ll smack you black and blue. Never had a chippy tea in all his sad old life, I loved my chips and peas, You`re missing out,Rumours were rife, He`d love a bag of these. You can`t have chis his mother said, You`ll end up fat like jimmy, Eat like that you`ll end up dead, Far better to be skinny. So snobby, High and mighty, Eats best fish and ham, Truth is , She is so flighty, All facade and sham. Mrs Nolan see`s the plumber, Not just to fettle her U bend, It`s all a show, A real life bummer, It drives me round the bend. All fur coat no knickers, Poor thingy is deluded, His snobby mother,Lives on snickers, Posh teas can be included. I went to thingy`s for my tea, All bread sticks and dips, Drop me off on Blackburn Road, I need a bag of chips.

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.