LADpoem

Biography

LADpoem is all about taking everyday topics and observations and turning them into comedy thought provoking poems

Samples

TOO TALL by LADpoem I wonder just how many people think that it's ok to comment on a person's height having only met that day. Coz so far I have noticed that there seems to be a rule that you can say just what you want if someone's 6ft 7 tall. "Oh my god how tall are you?" I regularly hear from rude insensitive people when I'm out for a casual beer. Now what if I replied by saying "how much do you weigh?" or " crikey you are ugly have you always looked that way?". Sarcastic shouts of "watch your head" a million times I've heard it, still it's only me the lanky freak so I probably just deserve it. Surely this must be an 'ism' in the world we live today! or is it only things like race and sex that count that way? Coz if someone's gender neutral and their name is Bill or Kim, you would lose your job and livelihood if you called them "her" or "him" But because I'm 6ft 7 even though we've never met, a wounding undesirable remark is the only thing I get. I wasn't born inside a growbag and I don't play basketball. I don't experience different weather to a man who's 5ft tall. And don't assume my decorating skills could win me an award, that's like saying someone small is good at painting skirting boards. In a supermarket aisle when out shopping for my tea, I'l often hear "excuse me can you reach up there for me?" I'd like to tell them to do one, yeah I'd love to see their faces, after all they wouldn't ask Somebody small to tie their laces. Buying clothes should be quite simple it's just a choice of fit and style but for me at 6ft 7 well it's gonna take a while. If I'm prepared to pay a premium I can get longer legs and sleeves, yet a guy who's 5'11 just buys off the peg and leaves. If I enter any shoe shop there's another thing I hate, "available in 6-12" they confidently state. There's no will or obligation to supply for feet like mine, unless I log on to the internet and order them online. When I travel on an aeroplane there's no legroom in my seat, yet the space is for a human, a criteria I meet. In a restaurant if a vegetarian couldn't choose a main they'd ask to see the manager and rightly would complain, or if sadly you're disabled and you need to use the loo, there will be a special toilet that's available just for you. When I went to Alton Towers and excitedly arrived, I was told because I'm tall I couldn't go on all the rides, so instead of the Oblivion or the dreaded Tower of hell, I paid 130 big ones just to ride the carousel. When I book a posh hotel room and I go to get in bed, it is clear they are expecting Someone 5ft 6 instead, or if I go to take a shower in a bid to smell my best, it's not easy when the shower fixing lines up with my chest. In a car when I am driving I can barely move my knees, Yet nearly everybody else jumps in and pulls away with ease. Imagine eating in a restaurant or drinking in a bar and being instantly harassed because of just how tall you are. Imagine walking past a waiter and getting more than just a glance, or being stared at from all angles if you choose to have a dance. Imagine being sad and single and your self esteem's a mess and knowing that your stature is unlikely to impress, and when you finally find the courage to approach a girl you see, she literally looks at you in horror and says "you're way too tall for me". Imagine looking at your Daughters when you tuck them in at night and knowing all the family hope they haven't got your height. So it isn't wrong to think it of course I know I'm very tall but if ever we should meet just don't remind me that is all!.

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Blog entries by LADpoem

The Too Tall Tool by LADpoem (story of a 6ft 7 man) (28/03/2023)

Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/ladpoem