Biography
Introducing….Yorkshire's own... Mandi Lowe (Queen of fairytales and fornications) 'Rude, crude, vulgar and very funny reworkings of classic fairytales' ‘Spoken word at its finest and funniest!’ ‘It is so refreshing to hear a woman being so rude and hilarious’ ‘You may have seen performance poetry, but you will never have seen it performed like this before.’ Who is Mandi Lowe? Mandi Lowe spent twenty years as a street entertainer, and it shows. She is a fearless performer, who knows how to work an audience and how to tell a story. 'My poems are rude, funny and outrageous reworkings of famous fairy tales. To give you an idea, there's 'Turrette's Turret' - (all about Rapunzel, imprisoned in a tower because she won't stop swearing); 'Not So White Snow White' - (Snow-White, the sex addict); 'Goldilocks And The Three Bares', (Goldilocks is having trouble with her pubic hair), and many others. And I get to wear a basque.' Check out my brand new myspace -http://www.myspace.com/mandilowe Drop me a line sometime - amandalowe1@btinternet.com I live in Yorkshire, near Hull.
Samples
Tourette’s Turret Rapunzel, Rapunzel, she turned the air blue With her constant outpourings of ‘cunt’ and ‘fuck you’ Locked in a turret till she could be silent But still the air rang with her aural defilement. A prince, riding by, her sweet voice he heard He listened more closely, then blushed at the words: ‘You cock-sucking arse-shite!’ – not what he expected And he rode away feeling sad and dejected. ‘Fat bastard arse-rider,’ she called from up high, ‘Horse-fucking shit eater, fuck off and die.’ But the prince, he returned, he could not stay away Bewitched by her tongue, he came back every day To gaze at her beauty, her grace, her serenity And listen, turned on, by her non-stop obsenities As days turned to weeks, he questioned his sanity Wasting away for Rapunzel’s profanities Calling up to the maiden, he’d beg her for more, She would start very gently, ‘You son of a whore; Gob on your nob and jack off to this: My quim nuts are queefing – I’m off for a piss. Are you listening, prince, are you greasing your rudder?’ He groaned with delight and an orgasmic shudder. ‘Perite, perite, mentulam caco – ‘Hey, Prince – I can do it in Latin, you know!’ ‘I love you Rapunzel, be with me always.’ ‘Hah! Potes meos suaviari clunes.’ ‘Dear gutter-mouthed maiden, I’m dying of love,’ ‘Fuck off, you sad twat’ trilled the voice from above He tried climbing the tower in mad desperation And was taunted with words that inferred masturbation As he edged to her window, the prince held his breath But his feet lost their hold, and he plunged to his death. This story is true, to be perfectly blunt, You couldn’t make stuff up like this, no you couldn’t. translation notes: Potes meos suaviari clunes – you can kiss my arse Perite – fuck off mentulam caco – I shit on your prick
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
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