Mark Underwood

Biography

Poems and stuff

Samples

I wish i was a fat man dancing If i was a fat man dancing then what would I do I'd go to a folk night and take my wife too I'd enjoy every moment like nothing before And make sure I could feel the earth through the floor I'd take off my socks and take off my shoes And dance in the hallway while blocking the loos I'd reach euphoria in a second or two and then keep the feeling the whole night through I'd ignore the good music and dance to the bad And inspire the crazy woman sat in the crowd To bring out her shakers and shake em insane She'd shake us both up to a new crazy plane That I won't even notice as I touch a womans breast Cos I'm caught in the moment as I puff out my chest With my hands in the heavens and my mind in its space I'd dance like a madman I fucking love this place Then I'd sing every song for that bit too long Even when they're finished I'd still carry on making the singer play an extra bar And watching the feeling travel afar But at the end of the night what would happen to that feeling Would it just dissapear without any meaning Or could I inspire a boy to write poetry And a few of the lads to sing harmonies That the feeling would keep going on and on people finding the feeling and passing it on Come join the revolution, don't try to fight When you find something like this you know that it's right And soon everyone would be up to fighting weight Dancing like crazy isn't this great Come take off your socks and take off your shoes Come dance in the hallway while blocking the loos But things can't be this good or that's how it seems Life can't be this fun it's just my little dream So you'll haveto forgive this thin man prancing It's just that I wish I was a fat man dancing .............................................................................................. Heaven’s empty, the graveyards are full The restaurants are empty The pubs are full 4 blokes to every girl And they’re all on the pull Fighting, shouting Pissing in the street All off to the (cattle) market To sell their meat The libraries are empty The pubs are full No thirst for knowledge When there’s lager to skull No need for education The adolescents’ sigh No time for conversation ‘Cos we’re getting high The classrooms are empty The pubs are full Student loan in pocket Mind to dull Start young Depend depend Tie you in Begin your end The minds are empty The pubs are full Wasted lives From the lager cull Our society Drenched in beer Imagine life without it Stay in fear .............................................................................................. Smack my bitch up You’re so boorish That’s why you’re so Moorish You give me euphoria But I can’t break through your barrier You make my day bright Make my world black You fuck me up You’re like smack I get up You drag me down Your mocking eyes Sardonic frown I go forward You pull me back You fuck me up You’re like smack I thought you were a flower You made me all soppy But you were the worst kind A poppy You drew me in, got in my veins Caused more pain than a heart attack You fuck me up You’re like smack I’ve been chasing the dragon Now I’m going on the wagon My bodies a little jerky As I’m going cold turkey But I can see the light I don’t want you back You fuck me up You’re like smack .............................................................................................. Meat Whatever society demands, creates what’s ‘right’ or wrong And this society demands meat Maybe free range, maybe organic But don’t panic! The most important thing, just keep it cheap Fuck the sheep, Fuck the lamb, Fuck the cow Keep it cheap, doesn’t matter how Stick it in a cage and chop off its beak I don’t care about the suffering cos its meat I seek Stick it in a cage, pack em in I can’t tell that it’s deformed, when its packed in a tin I’m cooking for 4 and only got £3 for a chicken Close my eyes and its finger lickin’ Keep yourself ignorant, keep your brain numb Cos society dictates that its allright son Society has been wrong before Think of slaves, think of gay rights Think of blacks, just think some more You say you couldn’t be veggie So just turn a blind eye You say you couldn’t be a veggie But fucking try! Or continue to cause suffering for something you don’t need Cause all that pain for your own fucking greed Or as this society keeps on sinking Make your own truth, keep on thinking .............................................................................................. Poisoned Smile Your poisoned smile I've seen before Your callous charm You wicked whore I can see your soul All twisted and empty Don't smile at me Don't try to tempt me I can see the hatred Behind your eyes I can see your truth I can see it's lies Cos I've seen you laugh And I've seen them buckle I've seen them fall I've seen you chuckle Your poisoned smile It draws them in They know not what's Behind your evil grin A lifetime of heartbreaking Deception and sin yet it draws them in It draws them in I know the thoughts In your wretched mind I know your type I've met your kind No love for anyone But yourself The poisoned jar Back on the shelf ............................................................................... I wish I was a little bit shorter I wish I was a little bit shorter Just half a foot, even a quarter I wouldn't bang my head on doorways I could walk your way I wouldn't have to duck or stoop And yeah I'd be further from the hoop But I don't play that sort of ball I play football So when they foul me It won't be so far that I fall but I could still walk tall Yet I could hide in a crowd And if I chose to be seen I'd shout out loud But more importantly I could fit in a bath And you may laugh But I'm pushing thirty And my knees forever dirty I wish I was a little bit shorter My duvet would cover my feet Wouldn't need no extra sheet I could save on heating And not wake up freezing And when it's cold my head wouldn't seize Could maintain its natural 37 degrees Plus I'd have more leg room on planes And when it rains it'd take longer to hit me My old clothes they'd still fit me And when I go to the loo I wouldn't have to take time with aiming I could be day dreaming Thinking of my master plan, planning what to do But I don't get that extra time because I'm 6ft 2 I wish I was a little bit shorter I could wash more clothes at the same time Have more clean clothes on the washing line Give me more choice I'd look better so women'd hear my voice Plus I could drive a smaller car My money would go more far I'd pay less tax and less insurance Better would be my endurance Because my legs would be shorter I'd eat less food and drink less water Plus my body would match the size of my hands and feet Everything in life would be short and sweet But the main thing that I figure My penis would look much bigger! .............................................................................................. If If I was a Salesman what would I do I wouldn’t give a fuck about any of you I’d sell you any old fucking shit Not care as long as I got commission on it I’d tell you anything, any old lies Tell you need it to save your lives I’d use my charm, no one’s exempt But I’d treat you with hatred and contempt If I was a Tory what would I do I wouldn’t give a fuck about any of you I wouldn’t give a fuck about the unemployed I wouldn’t give a fuck about the troops deployed I wouldn’t give a fuck about anything but me I wouldn’t give a fuck it’s just me me me I wouldn’t give a fuck about the welfare state I wouldn’t give a fuck about the poor, I’d hate If I was a Fascist what would I do I wouldn’t give a fuck about any of you I’d spit in your face for not being like me I’d stamp on your head and make you see That still the white supremacists rule Don’t want you in our jobs, or want you in our schools I’d hate you for not being like me I’d hate you and I’d make you see If I was a Copper what would I do I wouldn’t give a fuck about any of you I’d stop and search for being black not white Antagonise to start the fight Arrest anyone who doesn’t toe the line Not record the truth, just the crime Any of you anarchists I’ll find Gun in my pocket and hatred in mind

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.