Biography
One of many scared writers trying to push past their fear of rejection.
Samples
When you’re here, when you’re not When you are here and we laugh. When a new aspect of your personality and charm shows itself and dances before my eyes, amazing and original. When you teach me more than i could ever teach you, reminding me again and again that i must always support you to be yourself and never to be an extension of me. When you are here and I listen to you when you are unaware, when your mind creates and explores, conducting and directing. When you realise i’ve gone and you call my name, when i can’t deny how incredible it feels when you want me to be near you. When you’re here and i see you with other children, the struggle to let you handle the dramas with older or rougher kids. When i am alone to make decisions and sometimes i scared. When i’m overwhelmed with pride as you walk confidently and upright into a group and never look back. When your magnetism beguiles adults, cherubic and earnest, you bring the pleasure to them that only a child can. When you’re here and i see that bruise or cut that wasn’t there when i saw you last, i wonder if you looked for me when the tears pushed through, when the sting came with a shock, when the sight of your blood caught your breath. When you’re here, I see the other half that made you whenever our eyes meet. They are in your smile, in the way you get excited and loud, in the way you grunt in frustration, in the way you long to touch and be touched and i want only to enjoy that experience with them. When you are here and your eyes plead for her softness, when you’re ill or sad and her love is all that you want. When the softness this experience has brought to me does not reach the depth of a mothers embrace or gentle words. When you’re not here i walk past your room at night and say good night, imaging you angelic and peaceful, breath soft and rhythmic, body curled and warm. When you’re not here i leave the jobs you enjoy, let life stop until you are back and you breathe life back into the space that surrounds us. When i’m shopping and i wish you were with me in the trolley laughing as i cover you in food boxes. When everything reminds me of you and i smile. When you’re not here and i see others with their own angels and my shoulders miss your weight. When i see others who don’t realise how lucky they are and if they realise how quickly things can change. When you’re not here and somebody else is me. When you’re not here and the last thing i feel is free.
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
Blog entries by Matt Jones
When You're Here When You're Not (28/07/2016)
Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/mattjones
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