Biography
Hi I'm Lauren I'm a very deep, sensitive & soulful person. I will be writing about my life's traumatic experiences, mental health, spirituality & anything I feel like I want to write about on the way. Hope you enjoy x
The perpetrator
His eyes pierced through her soul like he would stop at nothing to hurt her as pain was his goal, he was only happy when she hit an all time low, like her heart, mind & soul needed a tow, A voice whispers; 'come on Lauren, do it you know things they don't know ' he stopped at nothing to break her blow after blow, legs arms and bones. He'd bruise her in places that no one could see , so everything looks happy and perfect, everything but me, His words cut like a knife to the heart but still I found reason of why we couldn't be apart, A little voice inside my head reassuring me I'm not dead, but little did that voice know all I wanted to do was go home, If that meant death then let's go, Cause this world is too cruel for an Innocent girl like me, as I pray to God I feel the devil intervene saying 'it's ok come with me', as I try and banish such thoughts From My Head, it's plain to see the devil has took its toll, god please save me, don't leave me lying in the road, save me from losing Myself, to me it isn't too late, it isn't too late to find the Lauren I once was, So I prey for you to guide me down the right road and protect me from these Demons in my soul.
A friend for life
when we first met the first thing I noticed was your smile, you got to know me and came round for a while. As the days went on the sparks between us flew, you listened to me as I did you, although the dark thoughts ate me up inside, It was you who helped me through. You gave me strength on days when you wasnt in view, it's like I couldn't see nothing but you, I didn't know why I felt like this but everytime I closed my eyes it was you who I missed. So in the end I let you see that you meant the world to me, no matter what happens from here on now, I won't ever let your memory go, I'll forever hold a space in my heart, whether you become friend or foe. So cross my heart and hope to die, I will forever be by your side, i'll be your friend till the end, a shoulder to cry on a hand to lend. So let's embrace this feeling and carry on, as out hearts know what they want, our souls entwined, so pass me that glass and the bottle of wine, let the night takeover, let's feel alive, cause life's to short to let this feeling pass us by."
Dancing with The Devil
Gradually I fall a little bit deeper each day, Preying that your sub consciousnessly doing the same, But This feelings is abit serial, Like I'm trapped in a movie and it's the last seaqul. I sense its's too late to hold my heart on my sleeve, As it slipped through my fingers the moment my mind said "I don't want him to leave". We hate like lovers, love like haters but protect like brother & sister but In the back of my mind I'm waiting for the day you come home and say "babe I missed ya". Through the days your demons danced with mine, Each day without knowing, you bypass every sign, they're practically glowing, like ignoring feelings that are rapidly growing, Your ignoring the girl who adores you without knowing. Your heart, protects me Your head, defends me Your soul, awakens me Your mind, excites me Your darkness, enlightens me, Your charisma, arouses me Your body, craves me. & every word spoken from your lips is spell that has alined me. I wish you could feel what I feel, see what I see, the intensity, the passion to thrive in life to become the best person I can be, It would seem a shame if you had to leave, before I had a chance to show you what I could as a woman achieve. The thought that you will never fall in love with me, Has left me with a wound i cannot heal, You can not feel, you can not see the bleeding heart that is within me, you can not hear the voice that won't set me free, The words felt like a knife to the chest & it cut deep, So I accepted what must be, That you are my friend & nothing more to me. So I'll silence the girl thats hopes to be your queen, instead ill allow her to take over in my dreams, Youll catch a glimpse of her if you look close enough, You'll see that twinkle in her eye when she wants to act tough. As I gave myself the ultimatum to be his friend or foe, I took a deep breath and whispered to the me within my soul.. " Cross my heart & hope to die I'll achieve my goal & you'll see me thrive, I'll banish the demon that infects my mind & any devilishsh traits that I may find, guide me from the dark & back into the light" So I'll hold onto that little bit of hope, that you may fall for the girl you are yet to know, Maybe she could be the one to make you glow, the one that helps you succeed & grow. Your safety net when life hits an all time low, When the material things have no value & people stop caring around you, and the girls within your mind no longer satisfy you, that's when you'll see that you made a mistake, she was there all along but now it's too late. I promise from this day forward, to cherish every moment I have made with you, Every laugh, every smile, every time you hugged me for a while, Ill never forget the man who helped sculpture me into the woman I always wanted to be. If life takes a dark turn & things weren't meant to be, Then I'll forever hold my peace, and let him go be free, But no matter where lifes takes me, I'll forever hold his memory in my heart, cos to me I was his lock & he was my key ?
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