Richard Purnell

Biography

Richard Purnell is a writer and performer from Rainham, Essex, exiled in south London. He has had his poems published in a few places, including Londonist.com, The Herald in Scotland and his blog. He has written three spoken word shows. The most recent of which, The Long and the Short of It, with Gary From Leeds, was at Edinburgh Fringe 2012. The Long and the Short of It was described by Nottingham Evening Post as having "flow, bite and panache in equal measure." Broadway Baby said it was "snappy, humorous yet seriously thoughtful spoken word" in its 4-star review. Richard hosts two nights in London. The Bus Driver's Prayer is a monthly night of music and spoken word at Hackney Attic, in Hackney Picturehouse, opposite Hackney Town Hall, Hackney. The night has seen performances from Simon Mole, Nathan Penlinghton and Ray Antrobus. It is on the first Thursday of every month. He also hosts Ritzy Platform on the second Tuesday of every month at Ritzy Cinema in Brixton. Richard's interests include Ian Dury, gangsta rap and writing about himself in the third person.

Samples

Email kiss analysis I’ve just been treble-kissed by a girl in a work email She’s asking me to help her review some text But could it be that she loves me, as this email, With its treble-kiss plus smiley face sign-off suggests? Or does she, in her beautiful, youthful folly Treble-kiss everyone, flippantly, thoughtlessly Thereby degrading the entire email kiss system Not caring what colleagues take it to mean? Or does she operate a precise kiss system Based on inverse proportion, meaning the three Is one and one is three, rendering this treble As meaningless as a peck on the cheek? Or is it a habit she developed after Falling in love with the XXX movies, making These kisses not kisses at all but a simple, Yet knowing, nod to the great Vin Diesel? No, that’s unlikely. Perhaps she does genuinely fancy me But is asking me to complete this task To assess whether I have the makings Of an obedient and subservient boyfriend She’s probably one of those women who moves in Within days of your first date, then stops you Having evenings with your mates because you’re Saving for a wedding you haven’t even proposed for Almost certainly she’s the kind of nightmare girl who Watches every calorie, bans you from eating carbs, Then cries if you so much as cast a lustful Glance at a cheese and onion pasty I look at the email with disgust. I complete The task in good time, and when I send it back, Sign the email with no smiley face, and only A single kiss, to show how much I hate her.

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.