Biography

I am an actor voiceover who writes.

Samples

Satisfaction. (she can't get no) My wife just can't be satisfied No matter what I try I've tried involving friends from work And even passers by I've dressed up as a fireman I've even hired a pole But his passport wasn't up to date And now he's gone back home I've chained her up in handcuffs And covered her with cream But it soaked right through the mattress Now its gone off to be cleaned I brought her home some sex toys A dildo called a rabbit But as we got it out the box The dog managed to grab it. It bit right through a battery And his ears stood up on end But the vet gave an injection And now he's on the mend The wife thinks it's an age thing Says her body's on the turn She says it won't be long before Her body's crashed and burned I blame all the cooking shows She watches on the box That Masterchef with Greg and John And fucking Brian Cox Paul Hollywood's another one That makes her sit their dribbling She says its all the food they cook I don't know who she's kidding Maybe that's the answer Feed an arial through the loft We could have a telly by the bed And Have a master bake off.

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.