SJS

Biography

Expression. No matter how great you are at something, do something that eases your mind in this messed up world. Do it. These are thoughts straight out of the note section in my iPhone. Poems & free verse.

Samples

[Numb] Is it bad to feel everything at once or nothing at all? We've all been at the point where we can do nothing but fall into this little space in mind where our feelings are attacked our eyes bursting out with tears falling down with our hearts attached It's a place everyone knows and learns to hate Our own personal hell locked away with iron gates A place where our minds cave in and free all the demons Fall, winter, spring, it doesn't matter it can happen any season But across the street from this depressing place Is a walk across the road we must all face A different atmosphere purposely laid out Where out minds become quiet and our hearts no longer shout We step into this silent room No more crying nor sobbing Not one sight of gloom Where a different mindset begins it day As if 24 hours passed in this one second and it becomes a new day Thankfully the tears, the hurt, the pain has all entered the past But is this new feeling and blank space actually suppose to last? You find yourself in a hole with nothing you used to know No memories nor devastation However no emotion shows It's an emptiness inside you that nothing else can fill But at least your eyes are dry and your heart is still The moments you once created with those certain known faces Have paved the road you've walked on to these particular places Finally you think to yourself how to start over again Like running in a circle you ask yourself the one question. Is is bad to feel everything at once or nothing at all? -SJS (2017) ~ [Drought] for i can only be half loved for so long i am a flower in your garden but not your home. you water with me with only half the pout. i survive however do not grow. i do not blossom to my full potential. you do not see the beauty i behold. you keep me alive. however do not want much more. sometimes you give attention. sometimes not at all. i am flower in your garden but not your home. rain and sunshine also attribute to me. however i am not thankful. my pedals sway in the wind for you. but not for my own sake. -SJS (2017) ~ [SHADE/Color Blind] My skin may be white But my eyes cry for multiple races Anger build up in the late of night I scream for so many faces A fight not against one But with this entire nation The disappointment-bullshit pile made of nothing but discrimination I will no longer accept it the hate that some may condone Our minds filled with society driven thoughts And hearts made of stone What is this "America" we speak of? Bible born children told to love everyone But say it ain't so They don't love everyone Judgements creating reports of homicide Internet comments and text messages Creating suicide I'm still confused where to find humanity? -SJS (2017) ~ [Once Loved, Never Again] I spend most of my nights alone awake, thinking of certain things. Nights of happened regret going back to them for change. It's hard to think to back then and to see what is now. Seems I keep moving forward even through the thick somehow. Much room in my mind for wonder makes time even more rough. As if the decade we face isn't already tough-enough. That's when I think of you when I feel lost and alone. I come back together as one you're really my rock, my stone. BUT you're a contradiction, you see something I'm not meant to keep. Something so distant from my person yet in my heart so deep. There's no explanation for connection no science to unfold. Just a bond between two people to take care of and to hold. In our little world everything is pure and great. It's outside the comfort zone that I truly hate. Doubtful eyes and negative outlooks in response to what we are. Happiness and love I thought a scene that must look bizarre. They say "you'll find someone else" "someone who is ready for you." Then my mind traces back could this really be true? It's the unwillingness of my mind to fully give in or let go. Should I care about others opinions? or worry you're my milestone? They say "love comes and goes" however I'm still very scared. Because if you leave me here my heart will become completely impaired. Will you fly my dear? Will you let your wings go? Or will you stay here with me and like a flower, shall we grow? A decision that every two people seem to go through, no matter the choice Your touch, warmth, and love will always be cherished even the sound of your voice. Now is it time for us to finally be through? If so please remember, I will always love you... -SJS (2016) ~ [No, No, I Don't Wanna..] There are not enough words to fill the emptiness under my rib cage My heart used to sing all the lyrics on point Confidently on its solo stage I believed in every last one of you. Not only is my mic broken now The sway of my wrist has frozen I could point out every last one of you For you are the ones who I had chosen I believed in every last one of you. Forgiving has become so prominent in its phrase that it's forever hard to keep forgetting For the knife in your hands is the memory I want to forget but keep witnessing I believed in every last one of you. Memories invade my thinking space so much that it has become a crowd There's no room for new improvements only shattered sounds. I don't wanna do this anymore. -SJS (2017) ~ [D.D] Dear Diary, Thank you for listening. Even though you never meant you you started a two month epiphany. I can never thank you enough You were there for me Even when times got tough. It's crazy to me So crazy it's still hard for me to believe. This past year I've really gotten to know myself Dug deep into my mind and bettered my health. But you wouldn't know that though This journey I started This front that I show. Just promise me that you'll always be here No matter what No matter the fear. For I may not be "in love with you" But I do have love On the honest scale that is true. For not only do I thank the heavens I can thank them for you The you that you are The you that has been there from the start. My thoughts thank you. -SJS (2016) ~ [Alive for a Reason, Right?] I put my inner self into every lyric I listen to If the connection happens My collection grew Each line with a story of its own For I will take pride Kept in my heart, my home Writings on paper, napkins, more These people have stories Put average people to bore That's why they are worth the read The listen Yes indeed The average person wouldn't know They are cold Cold like winter snow I'm am deeper than the earths core I feel more emotion Ten times the remorse I promise that in fact For the hearts of other I want to impact. -SJS (2017) ~ [Where?] I am living but I'm standing alone Standing on a road I don't know Standing here all alone Feeling as if I wanna go home However, what is home? Where do I go? I left because I was feeling low Feeling so alone With no place to call home I left. I left because my feelings had changed Trading them in for more, exchange I need more. -SJS (2017) ~ [Rain? Tears? It's All Liquid.] As drops of rain on an April day I wished for you Like stars aligned in the midnight sky I believed in truth It wasn't until now I felt a fool The wishes I wished The feelings of truth They shatter around me like glass in a room I prayed. Was it me who created a fantasy? Us dancing around empty rooms But our hearts full and free? Was it my naive mind who wanted love? Who prayed for the one Sent to me from up above I believed in fairy tales and stories The ones told to us The ones before broken hearts The ones based on more than just lust It's a trap though. To wear your heart on your sleeve Smiles, truth, and belief disappointment is what you'll receive I learned the hard way The hard road to defeat Felt like a punch to my face Walking with glass in my feet However is made me stronger The path worth walking on A path that is much longer No such thing as "real". -SJS (2016) ~ [Be SELFish] Created for the smile of another being It's made up my entire existence The feeling is so freeing Puzzled, wondering why I'm wired like this Happiness for others Never thought I was so self-less Don't follow my path though For every smile I make Is a sacrifice of my own Which is my mistake Smile for your selfish reason. -SJS (2017) ~ Don't mind my jumbled thoughts..may they rest right here.. [the untitled//free verse world] [Untitled] Power steering out, can you handle me? Without the proper function of this wheel, can you fathom me? handle me? deal with me? take control of me? Lead me straight, please try with me or then cry with me? maybe slowly die with me? Please turn the wheel harder or you're going to fly with me. Lie with me. End up cold beside me. Driving off the path. You choose, I laugh. As if my soul is already ran out, I gasp. ... [Untitled] You don't know a pain like blood loss Loss of the blood of your loved one Not just loved one, family Immediate family, your only sibling You don't know a pain of watching them die Not die as in physically dead Dead as a person Dead as in a soul. - You want to know something emotionally disturbing? Not knowing you were living your daily life while someone you love dearly was dying internally? ... [Untitled] One day I want to fall in love with a man A man that thinks I'm as strong as the way I grip my pencil Thinks the words I put together are the mysteries of my entire universe Believes I am as beautiful as the stories I create Knows I'm as intelligent as every piece of work I've ever read I can't wait to be someone's someone in each love song they listen too. Can't wait to fill myself with the water of their soul Watch as we grow from two separate beings into one That's they kind of love I want to have (mistake) The love I will receive when ready. ... [Untitled] A being so close to me but yet so far His soul under the rib cage of another hers under his May I lay by lonesome with you on my mind. ... [Untitled] I hear the sound of shattered glass around me Not only was I mistaken, I was wounded Glass not around me, but my fallen heart It's weird how humans relate to objects. However, objects obtain no soul Therefore when shattered there's no feelings In relationship to the object of course. ... [Untitled] One day you look back and She's not there Not the universe to blame However the one in the mirror. Don't take people for granted. ... until another sleepless night. see ya then.

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