Biography
Turn on... Tune in... Drop by... And get ready to set off on a journey that will take you- the reader through a landscape of riotous guffaws and uncontrollable giggles, weaving its way through the very burden of your adult psyche suburbia and onto a place where magic really does exist… your childhood. I am a spoken word poet whose work attacks at the very seriousness in the absurd and holds to ransom any logic left behind in the nonsense and then asks with astute conviction, WHY?????
Samples
MY WIFE I met yer on mi birthday I wor drunk and you were blurred. This lass leant in between us and said, ‘OI! YOU! I need a word!’ She said, ‘don’t break her heart yer bastard, she’s mi mate she’s fuckin’ mint. She works at Morphy Richards and she’s never once been skint. She’s got an ‘art o’ gold she has, I know her mam rayt well. She’s a proper classy bird she is like me n’ ar Michelle.’ I looked up from her cleavage an’ then right into yer face. I couldn’t think of owt ter say, but thought Christ yer fuckin’ ace! I loved yer sense of fashion with yer see through blouse n’ bra. Your legs shop bought from new look and yer face straight from a jar. You loved my sense of humour and you said i made you laugh. But drew the line at groping tits and fingering yer faff. You let me walk you halfway home and we kissed outside the chippy, Then I went an’ bought us both a butty while you put on more lippy. And so we started out together not knowing who we were. You and me n’ me’n’you – A threesome – what a pair. We lived on love and takeaways on Sunday afternoon aways. Those sexy little hideaways now gone- like Avon giveaways. We married at st peters An' I sat there in the pew. My eyes fell on the altar, then the aisle an' then on you. Yer came an' stood beside me an' I knew you'd seen it too When you whispered in my earhole- I'LL ALTER YOU! I sometimes like to reminisce about how we met and that first kiss. It happened just the other night, I held your hand and squeezed it tight. I said… ‘We’re just like john and yoko,’ then asked yer to pass me me cocoa. You said… ‘Shhhh, I’m watchin’ telly!’ then farted and scratched yer belly. I took a sniff, it wasn’t smelly. But if it was I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t rant or curse or swear, because… and this is true as true. Because you make each dawn brand new. Because you are forever you. And I love the fact that I love you. The fact that you and me are we. A proper little John and Yoko, watching telly, drinking cocoa.
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
Blog entries by Wayne Riley
The Masterplan (31/05/2017)
Puberty (31/05/2017)
My Wife (31/05/2017)
Homeland (24/05/2017)
The Pursuit Of Happyness (24/05/2017)
Partial Suicide (24/05/2017)
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