Loneliness

Is a price I pay

For my mastery of cleverness

And wit

That has cost me all my lovers

 

Sleep

Is a reset that resets my Jupiter

But never my Moon.

I wake up ever day feeling tired

And go to sleep awake

 

Sometimes I think

About the backwardness of my life, that

To give birth first in loneliness

Might be better than dying in love

 

This constant annoyance and incompetence

And hunger

Feels like washing the same clean set of 

Clothes over and over again

And watching them turn round and

Round in the glass eye of the washing machine

 

How monotonous. How single-lined.

I ache and ache to see something bizarre

But every day it’s the same old thoughts

If years don’t change them and neither do

New places, nor new people,

I can die now knowing that there isn’t

And never has been

Anything more to know than boredom