Weary, worn, and listless my soul carries through each day

like a waif searching for a place to rest.

Melancholy wraps about me like a warm jacket

keeping the cold at bay,

and indifference covers my head like a shroud.

I see the bodies bustling all around me

and I hear the shuffling of their feet,

but to them I am a ghost passing through their world,

unnoticed, unimportant, and not worth the attention.

I am nobody and I am faceless.

I am disregarded and downtrodden,

forlorn and weighted down by this knapsack of burdens

that I keep and carry with me.

I do not need your pity; I have plenty of my own.

I feed upon its bitter crumbs

and I drink the wine of apathy,

and both keep me numb from the pain

that’s buried deep below my skin.

 

Where will the wind carry my soul?

And where will be my resting place?

Will I make my home with those who make merry,

or will I drift along with those ruffians and vagabonds?

Perhaps my abode is with neither.

Perhaps I am damned to wonder alone

except that uncertainty and fear and woe

should be my constant companions.

And do not speak to me of God,

lest you have traveled the road that my feet know,

and have tasted the bitterness of anguish and torment.

What do you know of God?

And what do you know of those

who do not wear your face and fly in your skies?

What do you know of him who is abject and outcast?

Does he sit at your table and eat of your plenty?

Or does he share of your generosity and kindness?

No, I think not.

Is he not turned away and scorned?

Is he not hastened out of the way

that you may go after your pursuits.

What a pious and fraudulent mask you wear.

 

So I will continue on my way

until I find my place of belonging.

I will walk along this road so broken.

I will fall and I will rise again.

I will curse and spit and raise my hand to the sky,

but I will not give up my journey

until I reach my destination.

Somewhere beyond the horizon,

hiding beyond the setting of many sons

and the rising of many moons,

is the place where I will find welcome.

There I will cast off my shroud

and I will be robed in joy,

and there will be laughter in my mouth.