I'll say no to the tweezers, but thank you
It's cheating and wouldn’t be fair
I can grab all the strands by the handful
When it comes to pulling out hair

I found using a blender too lazy
A fork makes me look like a goon
No, in order to go stir crazy
I have got my own special spoon

I'm well off my kilter, unsteady
But prepared if I happen to fall
With helmet and rope at the ready
I'm all set for climbing the walls

A steering wheel would be handy
I'll shift gears, there'll be no ifs or buts
I'll stay off the beer and the brandy
But yes, it is driving me nuts

I think I am setting a new trend
Armed with snorkel and flippers and mask
I am ready to go off the deep end
And I know I am up to the task