I feel so profoundly sad, I've felt like this for years now

I am only young; but I feel like I've lived the life of eighty years

I don't laugh the way I used to, but I don't cry either

I now enjoy solitude more than I ever have

I sometimes wonder if I've grown to love my own sadness 

I don't think I remember what joy feels like anymore, but I suppose, who does? 

I think my sadness is okay. I don't think it is eternal