This house has never been my home.

These walls are my prison cell.

This bed, so cold and lonely

is the tomb I lay myself in.  

Your touch on my face is silky smooth

before you bring the knife to my throat. 

You are the one who kills me

and the one who nurses me back to life. 

You have been my closest friend

and my fiercest enemy.  

 

Now I’m suffocating on my own blood.  

The taste of copper is in my mouth

and my lungs gasp for air.  

The world around me blurs 

as the anesthesia sets in.  

Death whispers my name sweetly,

and I swear I’ll love you

through my last dying breath.  

 

I am washed, I am washed, I am washed

in this baptism of pain and suffering.  

Oh, my soul is made white again. 

Oh, my soul is made white again. 

 

This death I’ll die, over and over. 

This life of mine is yours for the taking.  

I will not fight you. 

I am the martyr of the broken heart. 

I am the sacrificial lamb on your altar. 

Tie me down and lift your blade. 

May your incision be precise. 

I will not fight you. 

I will not fight you.  

 

Here in surrender,

my life passes before your eyes. 

What was once me

is now an empty shell. 

Here in abandonment,

I am like water casting myself over the edge. 

Make my soul white again. 

Cleanse me from this, my sin.

Make me whole within

or just kill me.