Stunted
Wracked with indecision
and torn through blood and bone,
a fatal inquisition peering into my soul.
A breach of social etiquette,
disrespectful of the rules.
I hold my tongue back desperately
the words are too loud to speak
wanting to mouth them silently
praying my will is not too weak
and my selfish mind not too cruel
I watch from the corner
and from your shadow.
Thrust into the limelight,
only when the timing's right
and yet the impulses get stronger
I have to tell,
I have to yell!
and smash down those walls
of every careful, constructed day
and watch the tears fall
I watch you from your shadow
I hold my tongue back desperately.
Wracked with indecision,
every careful, constructed day.
but the words are too loud to speak.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Thu 24th Jun 2010 12:01
I think this is good, a universal theme expressed with individual passion. The repetition works well for emphasis. I would cull 'intrusive' small words to make the point faster and stronger. Usually, with careful thought and organization, three lines can be two better lines; sometimes even one smashing line.