I don’t necessarily want to be like you

There are times when you drive me up the wall!

I thought I wanted to be friends with you

I thought that we were something that we we're not

The reason is that I want to be like you, not that I want you

I want to be able to turn my phone over when someone calls

I want to be had a look away and ignore that “ting”

I want to put myself first every time and to know that I am the dogs bollocks

I want to be able to take everything on the chin and with a pinch of salt

I want to not obsess overthink or over analyse my life

I want to ignore when the notifications go down to 0

When nobody looks at my posts

I want to imagine that they are thinking good things about me 

rather than that’s another person I’ve burdened with my life story

I want to feel good enough, I want to feel worthy 

I want to feel love for myself so I don’t have to collect it,

scrape it from people who are not interested in me and do not have my back.