I found myself asking
Why infant teeth fell out
And that from my unknitted crown
The thicken shall sprout
My locks
And mother kept cuttings
In books
I was growing up
And the story of the fairy
Held out
Even under pillow
Until adolescent almost reached
And wiped the magic out
I was growing up
And dad had the magic
The power and the knowledge
Yet in time
his halo tarnished
And the gaps between my teeth
Were attended to frightfully
Varnished was the sarcastic smile
Of a surgeon who wanted to remove the remains
They dragged me to the plastic chair
Kicking screaming
They are prodding there a child…………..who does not understand
The nostril
And the dentists hair
I hated him
There I hated him
There they said
There……….
They didn’t fool me for long
I was learning… feeling
Growing up
And when the pubic field
Erupted
And spots corrupted my face
Gave excuse for female conversation
To embrace the ugly side
I realised
To keep it in
Was furrowed
my fingers burrowed the curling
Strands of pubescant
And angst under arms
Sprouted follicles
And hairy hands began

I was growing up

I ask my mum
About the morning stain
The dreaming drain
Of white fluid
And how it comes in the night
The snail trail sheet druid
I hid under duvets
I thought I was alone
The only one to touch
To prod and tease to bury
The feeling cross crutch
They would be angry should they find me
Surely
For they themselves the prudes
The wroth of word the rudes
I had found magazines
I was growing up
Erect this time
It was getting warmer
But they cast me out
Just as I found the cigarette
And the spout from lips
The vitriolic dips into diction
I learned to swear back
And fellow louts my mates
To share it all I found
In our bedsits now united
Adolescant young adult
With parents the turtle neck
the Jack and gill's
the measures the hills
they climbed
they retreated to warren....
to die...
It scared me to see them age
I was growing up
And all of a sudden
Without warning
And without a shred of hesitation
A creeping tide merciless
20 years pass
The crows feet slit my eyes
The burning bowel
Stemmed the tide of waste
And things became difficult and twisted
My body continued and listed
To one side
I found a cardigan
To keep warm
I felt bones crack
And ligaments torn
I felt the jaw strain
Neath mornings yawn
The room was cold
Parents long gone
Growing up groaning old
Again my body changes
To arched back wooden stick
To pavement jitters
And crumbling bricks
My foundations are peeling away
Im growing up
And as though
My whole life was a shedding
Constant
The areolic circles on which I suck
Are taking the nip and tuck from cheeks
I inhaled a vacuum
Look at me now mum
I’m 88 years old
I’m growing down
The bedside light the place
I put my teeth in waters
Once broke when I was born
I feel a reversion
A final dawn
Its cold
The circle of life revolves
I die
I’m born.


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