I find no respite here

for my broken and weary soul  

from this dark madness 

that stays always with me

just below the surface,

always churning like an unseen current

threatening to take me under. 

My resistance to the constant tug is wavering

as my strength wanes

from all this fighting

against what I am unable to escape. 

The undercurrent has always been stronger

than my ability to withstand it,

and I’ve long since lost sight of the shoreline. 

 

Where are you

hiding behind 

this never ending struggle?

My empty stare has returned

and I can’t see your face. 

I hear only the lies that drown me

as the cage door 

shuts quietly behind. 

 

I will never be who you want,

and who will fight for me

when my fight leaves me 

bleeding and broken?

How can I ask you to love me

when I have no love for myself?

Let me die in peace.  

Leave me be out in these open waters

so I can succumb 

to the darkness that waits below. 

Leave me be,

just leave me be.