They have strained every sinew,

pulled out all the stops,

thrown the kitchen sink at it,

and worked around the clock.

They have bent over backwards,

bust a gut,

the whole nine yards;

struggled, striven, toiled,

they are Trojan, double-hard.

 

They have tortured every puppy,

scalded every cat,

stripped skin and hair and tail,

then strangled every rat.

They have punched every baby

from Shetland down to Devon,

worked 20,000 hours a day

to prove their huge endeavour.

 

They have moved every mountain,

plucked the eye of Venus,

sacrificed their children

and severed every penis.

From Brexit to Afghanistan,

vaccines to PPE,

they won’t breathe or sleep or sweat

until they’ve scraped every barrel

and scoured every sewer for

effect.