I watched myself turn to something,

 A person I was afraid to be.

Swallowed by anger, hatred and resentment,

I kept my head high for too long,

I couldn't bear what I was.

A retard and a drunkard with a lost soul,

Sold into trauma trying to please people. 

Put them at ease, subtle hypnosis.

Pain, regret and depression served, 

Don't know if that's karma saved for me.

Terrified and petrified by what comes next, 

Uncertainty is forever guaranteed.

Magnified fears, fueled by anxiety,

Now that's a scary psychosis. 

Been holding in tears,

But things can't seem to be clear.

Brushing through last night's dust,

My past creeps up now and then, 

Wonder if I am the next tweet or hashtag. 

Lately that's what's been on my mind,

Feeling stranded in the same place.

Been on the same pace with words,

Talking about the same thing,

There is no resolution, torment is assured.

My problems have been on my thoughts,

It's a habit I can't overcome.

I wonder if I will ever find what I wanted as a kid.