‘Buttery- Muttery’!

 

Our ‘human-footprint’ on this Earth

has ‘cocked’ the planet up, from birth.

We’ve nappies that won’t de-compose

(You’ll wait a thousand years for those!)

We’re causing climate change, alas

with pipelines full of oil and gas.

Mechanical deforestation,

stripping back each third-world nation.

 

All examples, such as these

spell global-wide catastrophes.

And (as we know) the list goes on

- from ‘Ice Caps’ to the Amazon.

Yet, what’s perturbing me the most

concerns the humble slice of toast.

This breakfast-time calamity?

... A “butter-knife attrocity”!

 

Folk, nonchalantly go too far

- take ‘dairy-ridden’ knives to jar.

Compelling me to gripe and mutter

“Don’t infect that jam with butter!”

Glaring, (visibly disgusted)

I’ll announce that they’ve been ‘busted’.

Don’t know how they’ve got the nerve

- adulterating my ‘preserve’.

 

 This wanton act is so obscene

and just as bad with margarine.

(In illustration, change one letter)

“They Can’t Believe That It’s Not ‘Better’!”.

These ‘perishables’ (introduced)

ensure my ‘jam-life’s now reduced.

For it will soon be on the turn.

(Such ‘breakfast-vandals’ never learn!)

 

So take your Plagues and Pestilence.

Conspiracies, that make no sense

Asteroids, on course to harm us.

Prophecies from Nostradamus

For, whilst folk fear tales, they’re “fed on”

- that we’re facing Armageddon,

such are paled (in my sad life)

by ‘jam-scoops’ - with the butter knife!

 

 

 

John Andrew Nield.