We've had the decorator in this week,

Such a nice chap,

Hard-working,

He's local,

But originally from Newcastle,

But we can’t hold that against him,

Can we?

The colour choice,

Not chosen by me,

It’s a sort of Starbucks, Costa theme,

Cappuccino,

With frothy barley white,

Stick it in a mug and I’d be happy,

It's going in the dining and living rooms,

Then we accent,

With a nice yellow,

Yellow in the curtains,

Yellow in the cushions and the throws,

Yellow in the pictures that hang on the wall.

I should be happy once I see the effect,

But you know interior designers,

Relying on mood boards,

This mood board,

Currently in her head,

It has all sorts of lovely,

Sometimes not always achievable,

But aimed for,

Then those old designer cliches come out

Well,

I wanted,

This,

I thought that,

That,

I was hoping, for

something a little different,

It’s the best I could do,

With the money,

It was the best I could do,

Within the time,

I need you to see

Through the physical,

At the concept,

Why do I listen to these excuses,

All these design commentaries

Well,

This amateur interior designer

She is the same woman,

That washes my underpants,

So it would be rude not to.