after Ode to my Envy by Chen Chen

 

I'm distracted by those around, meshing their hands with the keys I can't bear to touch.

I'm distracted by the words which won't come to me but scream that poetry is everlasting.

i'm distracted by the fugue state

 

my eyes have decided to be buried in & remain seated for the show.

I'm distracted by the way I refuse to be elastic, forever having to snap back into place, with those who say their favorite tree is oak.

 

I'm distracted by the sky who decides to dim and be dreary from day to-day, but smiles some other time while i exist beneath time, torn by the waves of time, the sky is moved by time,

 

and yet, it gets away with shifting like it's made out of leaves and people lament 'wow look at the weather today.' no look at me today and feel how i am wilting with no chance to flip my coin sunny-side-up.

 

My distraction eats at desire.

 

My distraction wants to fall into the arms of my partner who was nearby yet now gone, the imprint of their brown-rugged jacket fused on my skin.

My distraction will be willing to be exchanged for another emotion. Again we call, 'another other emotion? No? Alright'

 

Wait.

 

I'm quite thrown off by those who can stare at the ‘Landscape with a Calm’ and examine the calm in their words.

The chaos in the calm throws me off and oh heres another emotion and oh its gone and i am distracted by the sheep in the landscape

and how does one write about fluff endorsed, chocolate-chipped eyed sheep in a descriptive way?

 

Return.

 

No, not all the time, but today, I got distracted by the sticky goop on my windows and had my frog stare at it, becoming the witch under those stick-ers.

Now henceforth, I'm distracted by the frog who can be whatever he wants to be, padded, soft, forever in bed, learning the lessons of rest.

i'm distracted by the fact the frog never has eye bags.

 

I'm distracted by those who make the most of their distraction and create.

Because the sky, now pale blue, is obscured by the blinds in the room i sit,

conjoined on a symmetrical couch,

a grand piano hidden away in shame,

I close my eyes and let the distraction be.