Tossing, turning, and apneic –

this hell is my waking dream.

This hole in my heart feels like

waking up next to nothing.

I wish that instead of this

hole in my heart, I had one

inside of my head, what bliss

I would feel taking a gun

to silence these thoughts for good.

Just when I thought I’d had it

with feeling misunderstood

you asked ‘could I live with this

permanent decision to

take my own life, knowing that

I’d be leaving behind – you.’