You may wonder why I, a famous actor,
when interviewed on hit US chat show, Late Night With Maclean,
appeared with a mighty lump on my forehead.

It all came about when a producer wanted me to bubble for a TV show,
just to minimize the danger of covid.

But to complicate matters, it turned out to be a passionate scene,
but I had to do it with the ex-wife, bubble, I mean.

We were to play a kissing couple, content in our love,
and all went well at first - the director fussed all over her,
while the make-up lady expressed admiration for my curly locks.

I didn’t like to remind her that she was the one who’d
once derided me for turning up with odd socks,
when I was playing a lookalike of a famous comic called Sinful Sid.

Away we went with gusto on the sofa, 
But our passion could not be sustained, and for us that was a first,
due to the interfering intimacy coordinator.

‘Madame,’ I said, thrusting out my chest, ‘I was known as Tactful Tim at acting school,
and was never reported for using an unacceptable phrase by fellow students,
one of whom I proposed to.

'And, to add insult to injury, the two of us have just completed a messy divorce.

The former combatant in the aforementioned legal battle, agreed,
but shot me a look of hate, when I blurted out, ‘You’re just like her,’
I said, pointing at my ‘bubble’, ‘so bossy.’

I was reminded of this remark when, newly married,
the advisor with intimate knowledge and I drove down
Hollywood Boulevard in a horse and carriage,
and my former wife threw a box of confetti at me,
which was indeed a bruising start to my second marriage.