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Irretrievably lost

Noxious gasses bleed the sun,
The gashes in arms feed the blossum,
Feathers fell and dug down deep,
Never more forgetting,
The cauldron falls in cornered lips,
The building bustle in the stream,
Castrated the cow and godless famine,
The death of the poor did bring a smile,
Another day and other shallow,
Wading in the depths of despair.

🌷(4)

◄ Imaginary Children

Kneeled before god ►

Comments

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keith jeffries

Tue 29th Nov 2022 20:48

Thank you for your lengthy and detailed explanation of your poetry and that of the reader relating to what is written rather than trying to interpret the text. This had not occurred to me before and has opened a new vista in my understanding and future approach to poetry. I shall be on the lookout for more of your work with interest. Thank you again
Keith

Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh

Tue 29th Nov 2022 14:55

Hello Alita. You say:
it's my vision that the reader take ownership over the poem

I think I know what you mean - another WOL contributor said something similar to me recently, when I was trying to" interpret" his poem.

Alita Moore

Tue 29th Nov 2022 14:03

My goal as an artist is to create something that makes people feel something. Something that reminds them of a memory, a moment from childhood, whatever. I want my poems to feel like a friend that understands how you feel. This friend can't fix your feelings but perhaps they will help you feel less alone or ashamed of it.

Emotions are very personal. So it's my vision that the reader take ownership over the poem. Your emotions are unique because they are the result of a lot of different influences that are unlikely to occur in another person exactly the same. Despite this we relate to each other. Its my goal to write something that makes you feel heard or understood in a way you can't describe with words.

I write all of my poetry in a single sitting and I write it directly. I write all poems with no planning or forthought. I simply feel something and write down what I visualize. The images go from one to the next and I write that down. That's important because it's worth noting that what I write could very well be total jibberish. So if you don't understand something it's not your fault.

In the case of this poem, I find it impossible to grasp the idea of something being lost. A good friend that I tried to help died recently at the age of 23 due to an overdose. I have grieved her death, but even still I simply can't fathom the idea that I'll never see her again. I can't fathom the idea that her dreams and my dreams for her were completely useless. They were intangible. I like the word "irretrievably" because it suggests you have tried. That after many attempts you have simply accepted it cannot be done. But at the same time it's not truly final. You never know. You never will know. You will never be able to comprehend the idea of something being irretrievable.

So the goal of this poem is to make you feel heard about this emotion of feeling just about this idea being on the tip of your tongue but never being able to take that last step and to fully grasp it. It's goal is to invoke your own experiences and memories and to connect them with the lines. Perhaps each line invokes a moment of your life. An image, a sound, whatever you like. My goal is for you to connect with the words written and take ownership in them.

If you didn't have emotions or memories all my poetry would be close to jibberish. I intentionally included the occasional comprehensible line because it helps keep the reader grounded. If instead you read my poetry and get lost and don't connect to it immediately then perhaps I have failed as an artist or the poem simply is not for you. Think of each poem as its own individual, where it can either accept or reject you. I like this idea because it let's the authority of words and imagery stand on their own. If you don't generally connect with imagery or words then that's a very valid reason to think my poetry is garbage (which I insist that this always be a possibility, because I can't know).

my goal is write something that you connect with. And I want that connection to be personal and private between the reader and the poem. I believe in many ways my poetry won't achieve its full potential until I'm dead. That's because I think it's at its most powerful when the writer is unknown. Perhaps you were to see this written on the wall I a public restroom, would that change its impact? I see myself as the mother of my poetry, but I do not have control over what the poem does. What it says to you or anyone else. How it's interpreted. Who it makes angry, sad, or happy. But I think in a way that speaks to how profound and fluid our understanding and connection to words, images, and ideas are. Perhaps the poem is well connected to in this century, but not the next, and then people like it the following. It's not necessarily because the poetry is bad, but perhaps it's simply that every poem is waiting for the right time in your life and the lives around you to be fully "understood" (as I discussed, the definition of this is decided by the reader). Indeed this could be the case in a single reader's lifetime (you like it at one point, abhore it the next, and like it again later). Perhaps if I were to write enough poetry I could capture enough emotions and feelings that there would always be at least one poem that spoke to the reader. If someone lived a very different life than me, then it would make sense they may not relate to emotions conveying, and that's okay.

My point is that if you don't connect to the poem then that's okay. If I accomplish my goal, then you understanding the poem comes secondary to you relating to it. Perhaps when trying to understand it you may focus on what each line makes you feel. What it reminds you of. Maybe then you can comprehend it. But if you can't or won't then that's perfectly alright. If it makes you feel something (ideally a sense of relief from finally feeling heard) then you don't *need* to understand more. Nor is there necessarily a reason behind each word choice. For instance line two suggests a commentary on self harm (and it could be), but I saw it as more the impact of bleeding one's self to feed another being. That's how it connected with me, anyway. But there's no invalid interpretation. The only person that can decide what's valid is your own heart.

Sorry for this super long rant. I have a lot to say about my poetry! Thank you for your comment. I'm happy to discuss more or clarify if you'd like. Otherwise, I'd be super interested if you read a line and it connects with you. Consider sharing what memory or emotion it brings up (if anything). I'd love to hear your story.

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keith jeffries

Tue 29th Nov 2022 12:21

Profound and complex. I am unable to grasp the content but would welcome some understanding of it.
Thank you
Keith

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