I was just a child when this took place

There's a few memories I wish I could erase

My innocence was violated and will to live and love desolated

The darkness in my heart exacerbated

 

My own family abused me for reasons unknown

And since then I've never let much of me be shown

I still feel the pain in my chest and my soul is under such duress

The mess still lingers in my head and doesn't let me rest

 

Forgiveness doesn't come easy and isn't in my vernacular

In the years past though I've found something quite spectacular

My drive to live trumps my feelings of guilt, shame and remorse

This discourse of mine...ours, is burning in my heart with force

 

I'll let it go and find myself again

That quiet little kid incapable of greater sin

 Don't give into defeat and despair

 Not when there's someone, somewhere who cares

 

*A little backstory on this poem: I was sexually abused when I was 6 and 7 by some older family members for a few months. Certain people in my family still don't wholly believe me but I've made peace with that. I've been to counseling and therapy since then and I'm never going to completely heal but I've found a sense of purpose since then and am currently the happiest I've been in years. Just know that if you been through something similar: You are not alone, you are loved, you are so strong and brave, I'm so proud of how far you've come ❤️ Don't ever give up!