But sir, it wasn’t us, it’s so unfair,

We’ve only been in power for nigh twelve years,

It was our friend le Putain, over there,

Made of the NHS such great pig’s ears.

It wasn’t Hunt spelled with a C who wrote

That pamphlet saying “Kill the NHS”,

It’s old gits, and those refugees afloat,

It’s them that’s got the UK in distress.

Oh look at that, a dead cat in the street!

Ignore those bent sods in the House of Lords,

Those scrounging nurses, how they always bleat!

Those sick folk, how they block up all the wards!

The nasty EU’s taking it’s revenge,

Increasingly our paranoia blooms,

They’re eating straight bananas at Stonehenge!

Their elephants roam round our living rooms!