And so here we are

It’s Christmas again

So, I thought I’d come see you

I imagined us hugging

And feeling your breath

In my ear

As you whispered my name

 

It’s been such a long year

Without you here

I’ve dreamt so many times

About having you near

And no longer  loving you

From afar

 

I’ve packed and unpacked

A million times

Ruminated on whether to travel

By car or by train

On scouring the map

The route was not clear

So I settled on flying

Through the air

On a plane

 

But there are no tickets

To heaven, my love

So I must continue

To reside in this hell

I must accept that I am alone

And imagine you loving me

From above

 

This Christmas 

I will send you my gifts

In my dreams

And wait for your voice

To whisper my name

And tell me you left

Without any regrets. 

 

I’m sorry I couldn’t visit

You, this year

I really didn’t want

For you to see me

In tears

 

My love for you

Will always remain

And I promise that one day

We’ll be together

For Christmas again. 

 

C.K.22