Bless me Father for I have sinned

I honestly didn’t intend not recycling my bins

All that glass got mixed in with the paper

I swear I was gonna sort through it all later

 

But I got distracted by that young lady

Oh and whilst it’s confession time,

I’ve been a bit shady

I told her I was single you see

When I invited her in for a cup of tea

I’m not sure she believed me but there’s no doubt

that I definitely think I’m in with a shout

 

But what must you think of me now I’ve fessed up?

I wouldn’t blame you if you threw the book

At me for all my terrible wrongdoing,

I bet you knew that I was just trouble brewing

 

I hope you don’t mind but people are talking

About you Father, and the way you’re walking

The parishioners say you’re on borrowed time

Cos you’ve been seen guzzling the communion wine

I don’t believe them, have no fear

As I know full well that you only drink beer

Well, in large quantities I know

but you tell a good story when you’re in full flow

And eventually the manager tells you to go

 

Well that’s my confession done and dusted

And I won’t tell the Bishop that your cover’s been busted.

Well, provided that because of my sins

You won’t force me to do penance again

So thank you once more and I’ll leave you to pray

Keep off the wine and have a nice day!