Lack of quality in the final third,

is the one phrase I wish I’d never heard.

Trotted out by pundits lost for words,

the useful and useless so casually blurred.

 

Quality player, quality ball,

Peter please stop, we’ve heard them all.

When City don't score, they hardly ever win,

Michael, cheers for stating the bleeding obvious thing.

 

Why if a player hits the ball too well, Jeff,

does the ball find itself nestling behind row F?

Andy, is winning on a cold rainy night in Stoke,

really the biggest challenge in football to invoke?

 

Lots to learn from any titanic football clash,

shame many of the pundits haven’t the insight to match.

 

Roy, explain the mystery so everyone will know,

why the most dangerous lead in football remains 3-1, or so.

Lumping the ball seems to have gone right out of fashion,

is that why no one can put a corner beyond the first man, Alan?

 

Goals win games, he’s got genuine pace,

well-meaning cliches from all over the place.

If football is more important than life or death,

then give us quality pundits is all we request.

​​