Healing
Maybe healing does not mean that I won't fall weak when I see you again. Yes my tears will still roll down my cheeks reminding me of the bitter sweet moments we shared. But in healing myself I will have become stronger than I was yesterday. The ground before me will not fall and I shall not collapse. Healing only means that this time if I fall weak I will know that my feelings are okay at that moment to feel what I feel. I will understand myself better and accept my feelings at that time. Healing would be me consoling myself but also reminding me of how long it took me to get where I am. When I see you and think of us again, it's normal for me to miss you but it is also normal for me to not go back to you. Tears may be shed but not a bucket full of tears straining my eyes and hurting my head. My heart will no longer ache as it did that day I lost you for forever. I will not feel giddy as I did yesterday. This time I only shall be who I wasn't yesterday but who I am today. In healing, I have lost the old me that was blind in love. In healing, I have only found me that is stronger than before, that values her feelings and emotions, that knows how to love herself. This time love wouldn't mean you whom I have left behind but myself whom I had never known how to love. Love is beautiful and not blind and so will I, not be blind. Healing, though at first painful, but in the end, worth it. For my soul shall no longer ache and cry but love and laugh in the most beautiful ways.