Is today a good day to?
And if not today, when?

Most times it feels like it is.
Maybe it's the crushing feeling of my heart beating,
The drowning feeling when I stop breathing,
The constant feeling of being under threat,
The constant feeling of impending danger...

And some days I feel like it's not.
When the joy is more than what I bargained for,
I'm on top of the clouds,
In the middle of the heavens and the beautiful kingdoms on the ground,
And my smile is wide,
And it's real this time,
And the sky is beautiful,
And I want to remain on earth to see its beauty...

And then it goes dark again.