Juicy, juicy Gary Lucy

Sexy bloke off Hollyoaks

Cheeky chappy, chappy ways

Cute eye candy, happy gays

Straight boy Gary, gay heartthrob

Got off his kit, got out his nob

On front cover, almost nude

For Nineties gay mag Attitude

Remember when for us gay men

Now over thirty,  pre the Net

When pics more dirty, hard to get

Branded bum boys, queers and benders

Gary went gay on Eastenders

Playing gay but gay straight-acting

Could not watch not lost in fact in

Gary mate you’re selling out

Gay played by straight, what’s that about?

Juicy Lucy Gary Lucy likes it backstage,

backstage door

Gay club Heaven in 97

More than what I bargained for 

Three pints they say makes straight men gay

Get them in bed and lead astray

‘Allow myself to introduce me’

so said I to Gary Lucy

He went quiet but was not bluffing

Said it all by saying nothing

Out of Heaven, backstage door 

His hotel bedroom, bedroom floor

Such a big boy Juicy Lucy

Bigger than Kriss Akabusi

Gary Lucy donkey hung

Like ten mile long Olympic run

Juicy, juicy Gary Lucy

Cheeky bottom, cheeky ways

Let’s fast forward

Where is Gary

now much older nowadays?

Gary Lucy makes a killing

acting camp as panto villain

‘Out my way!’ not ‘`Please, excuse me’

‘Sign my programme Gary Lucy’

Older gay fans, backstage door

I’m saying nothing, nothing more

Juicy Lucy Gary Lucy rubs our nose in his straight camp

Stop playing Gary, you confuse me

Rub only Aladdin’s lamp